now available!

"By far the funniest amateur comedy I’ve ever been exposed to ... The movie looks like it was a lot of fun to make, and it certainly is a lot of fun to watch." - Jay Bauman, Blanc Screen Cinema

"Excaliburger was an excellent film. I laughed my ass off."
- Wally Fong, Infiniti Productions

"The story and dialogue and general creativeness was pure magic and I watched wide-eyed the whole time! Loved it ..."
- Mike Stoklasa, GMP Pictures

"Excaliburger is EXCELLENT. You can quote me on that." - Jon Ashby, Rewind Video Magazine

"It's funny all the way through."
- Jason Santo, Random Foo Pictures

VIEW ALL THE PICTURES HERE
READ SOME REVIEWS OF THE MOVIE

VIEW THE TRAILER (5.43 MB)
right-click to save to your hard drive (recommended)

VIEW VIDEO CLIP "Tale of Prince Arthur" (2.08 MB)
VIEW VIDEO CLIP "Spanky's Quest" (5.31 MB)
VIEW VIDEO CLIP "The Lord of Mirrors" (5.73 MB)

SEE THE SHIRTS, MUGS, MOUSEPADS, BAGS, CAPS, AND SHORTS AT CAFE PRESS
VIEW THE FANTASMALON PUPPET
READ STEVE NAGY'S JOURNAL ENTRIES
STAN ART
CARICATURE GALLERY
VIEW THE LARGE POSTER (large, be warned!)
VIEW THE LOBBY CARD DESIGN (also large!)
READ ABOUT GREG NICOLETT'S MUSIC AT HIS SITE
READ ABOUT HOW MUCH FILM THREAT HATES US!
VIEW THE MERLIN CARD (large)
VIEW THE MUG DESIGN (large)
VIEW THE T-SHIRT BACK (large)

"Once upon a waste of time ..."

In a time of kings, legends and fast food, despair and darkness have sloshed over the land. The last king was unable to produce an heir or indeed do much of anything in bed, and his most prized possession, EXCALIBURGER, a spatula encased in stone, is the only key to breaking the spell. Spanky, a wide-eyed young former fast-food clerk, sets out on a quest for some reason and encounters magic, danger and stupidity at every turn. He is trained by Merlin. Not the famous Merlin, but a very good wizard indeed. And he meets a young girl squire named Arthur who apparently wants to be king herself. (The nerve!) Will Arthur and Spanky conquer the obstacles and idiots around them to reach the spatula in the stone? And what are they supposed to do when they get there? Such is the plot of OCP's earth-shattering fantasy epic, "EXCALIBURGER (or, the Spatula in the Stone.)"

EXCALIBURGER TRAILER!
(5.43 MB)
A special treat of a trailer whether you've already seen the movie or not! Good stuff, folks. Requires Realplayer.

Starring Garrett Gilchrist, Michelle Caruso, David Ashe and a hugely talented and silly ensemble cast, this was a unique project for Connecticut moviemakers Gilchrist and Ashe, considering that writer-director Gilchrist had actually left Connecticut a year earlier and was living and going to school in California at the time. Showing no regard for logic or sanity, producer Ashe paid for Gilchrist's flight back to Connecticut, giving him room and board and less than three weeks in which to shoot a feature-length motion picture. Rather than create something small, quick and simple to fit the short time alotted, they created the epic tale of EXCALIBURGER, and thanks to their ignorance of concepts like "sleep" and "pain," they did indeed get it all done in time, with thanks to a terrific comedy cast. It's a new adventure in comedy, loaded with sex jokes and swordfighting and a truckload of cheesy special effects. Your Orange Cow collection isn't complete without this one folks, so to order, send $10.00 to our street address, or pay with credit card using Paypal below.

Excaliburger (or, the Spatula in the stone) VHS video [NTSC] - 90 min. Starring Garrett Gilchrist, David Ashe, Michelle Caruso Comedy. Adventure. Magic. Sex. Wouldst thou like fries with that? A hysterical romp through medieval times, "Excaliburger" demolishes every Arthurian legend there ever was with nonstop humor. more ordering info

Order with your credit card, or send orders to: Garrett Gilchrist 906H Caminito Madrigal Carlsbad, CA 92009 All proceeds go to a good cause -- they become the budget of Orange Cow's next movie! That's right, we're broke and we need your help. Support us, won't you?