Forum Posts
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Jeff
Pre-Production Art Complete! Posted 1-2-2001 20:09
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Sequey Productions is pleased to announce that the pre-production behind the scenes concept art for our latest film "Terror-Scarer" is being released on the offical site (www.segueyfilms.com) these stills are pre-concept art drawings completed by Seguey's own Mark Kilbourne. These never seen before drawings of the concept art for the mask have been eagerly awaited by fans. Also soon to be released are never before seen stills of the script being writen and exclusive behind the scenes only availble on the internet live web cam of the computer screen that will eventually be used to edit the film on (once I get the software and we start shooting) The script is almost done for the movie, but for those who want to keep update with exclusive never before seen pics of the casting process (me calling people) stay tuned to our site. Also be sure to note that you can download the offical teaser trailer at our site, I must again comment that this trailer has NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE and is exclusive to our site only. The trailer is 11 seconds long and will be updated all throughout the production. With ACTUAL VIDEO IMAGES used in the film. So keep checking out our site for EXCLUSIVE NEVER BEFORE SEEN EAGERLY ANTICIPATED BEHIND THE SCENES stills of the paper that will be used when I print the script out. Oh yeah and If we end up shooting the movie and actually finishing it that will be announced as well, but be sure to check out the behind the scenes making of mini-documentary about how the behind the scenes exclusive never before seen pics of my computer screen that will eventually edit the film and print out the script were made!
-Jeff
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Boonshoo
Getting some o' that Posted 1-3-2001 07:45
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hey Jeff, I tried checking out your sitebut the page wouldn't load. I'm wondering if you have a Box address that I could mail something to because I have some great ideas for possible costumes for your movie. Now, mind you they are just concepts but you can take stills of the concepts on the paper and post them on your site so that they could be viewed.
of course, you will need to go download a RealViewer to be able to view them but the trouble should be worth the wonderful art "concepts" that your fans will be able to view once they've completed the 3.5 hour long download.
Oh and these concept drawings have NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!
Bonshoo
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Jeff
New update! Posted 1-5-2001 19:43
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We've just added a section to our website that will allow viewers to create interactive one of a kind limited edition theatrical release posters for our unfinished film which will only be four minutes long. Guests to the website can list lenghty credits of the large cast and crew and fill their own names in the blanks! Why not! Everyone else does! Also in the HOT NEWS we're begun script revisions on our 12 second film "The Courage of One" which will include never before seen cast photo gallery, behind the scenes scirpt revision sessions and never before seen web exclusive pics of the camera that will shoot the film. ALso included an interactive section of the website that will allow visitors to score the music for the 12 second film, also vistors can see the ACTUAL music sheets composer Rob Bacon used to write down his ideas for the score on!!! Amazing!!!
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Paul Stamat
It's a tough business ..... Posted 2003
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It's a tough business getting anyone to pay attention to amateur films with a non X rating.
Random Person: Who's in it?
Filmmaker: John Smith.
RP: Never heard of them.
F:But the movie is good.
RP:I don't care. Is there nudity?
F: NO.
RP:Get away from me. I wouldn't watch your movie for $100 bucks.
F: No really, I'll give you $100 bucks.
RP: Okay. I'll watch it.
A few weeks later
F: Did you watch it?
RP: No.
F: But I was going to give you money.
RP: I know.
F: Well what have you been doing?
RP: Oh I went to see the new Costner flick. And I rented a bunch of movies. I'll get to it. I have to be really drunk before I do.
F: But...
RP: Look...I was just telling you I'd watch it because I felt sorry for you. You don't have anyone I know in it. It's not going to happen. Get over it.
F: (Pause, then) Okay.
Okay...maybe it's just me and Tasker that this happens to.
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Danny Trejo, Sr.
Someone Neglects to Update This Website March 23, 2004
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Cyber Space Central, MA - For several days in a row now, this website has been breaking newsless. Not that here isn't a massive plethora of fascinating stories to report on! Oh no!
In fact, beatrice mcfarley has recently purchased a wide angle lens and soon plans to start saving for a matte box attachment so she can someday save up the green to actually aquire a functioning camera and piece it all together incorrectly.
Newton Gornberg has announced his inclination to write the greatest teen gang drama ever set against the backdrop of a high school Home Economics class, just as soon as he regains the use of his arms.
And thousands of talentless boring middle class American's are currently overeating, while their incompetent parents save up to buy them the equipment they'll need to be the filmmakers of tomorrow.
There has indeed been more than enough news to report on. Someone's just been too busy severing tendons to type it all up. More on these apocryphal stories as they bloat, burst, and spread like a primal apocalyptic plague through the annals of history.
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Great Oyster Yiddish
Terror is On Sale Again! - March 16, 2004
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Boston, MA - Everyone's favorite hype artist, Goy McGonagall, is at it again! Apparantly G.M. has learned a lot by skrewing people over with his horrible comedies, in the past, and is now trying to convince the world that they should pay for his new brand of backyard horror crap. Why is this film the scary one, you ask? BECAUSE IT IS ABOUT A YOUNG GUY IN AN OLD MASK! Appropriately titled "Old Guy," the story is apparently retarded.
Watch the hilarious trailer! Which shows us, with careful plodding detail, that this movie will feature lots of random time killing blank stares, mysteriously head roomy shots, and character free dialogue! A bold move for Bile 5 Productions.
Or Read the buzz this little baby is generating around the net! In this forum the always too nice Michael Linn-Meyers attempts to point out that morals are actually pretty cool, to the bewilderment of all. While in this forum, Goy runs rampant about how likely he is to "Make It" in the real world.
Or hell, just go buy the video. Everybody else is doing it. Aren't you curious if it actually sucks as much as you suspect is sucks? Come on. It's only 15 bucks. You know you want it. And ultimately, who needs self respect when you can just waste money on any kind of overhyped online crap these days?
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Death Row Inmate #862
Da' Sad States of Affairs on 08 May 2003 10:34 pm
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 Hello, my names is Leroy. I am a dead death row inmate. My story is one of sadness and loss. I have figured out how to use the computer from the afterlife. I got sent to the chair in 1943 and ever since then I've been trying to download the new Matrix trailer (time and space function differently on the 2nd plane of existance..Its a bit hard to explain) In 1938 I held up a saloon near Grand Royal, Texas. I shot the barkeep as well as his wife and pregnant dog. Due to the relaxation of body muscles after death the dog began to give birth shortly after I shot it in the chest. Little puppies were squirming out of its bottom. I thought about running with the money, but something deep inside me told me I needed to reach out and help these little puppies embrace life. I threw down my weapon and the money and helped with little puppies out of the mother dog who could no longer aid in the birthing process. I feared the litter was in danger of suffocating. I got out the whole litter just as the police arrived. My lawyer tried to use this in my defense at the trail, but it wasn't allowed to be mentioned in court for one stuipid reason or another. So when I met my maker he said I was basically an asshole for what I did, but gave me props for still helping the dogs. So basically because of this I was allowed computer access ( I was given a laminated computer pass). Sooooo to make a long story short I've been trying to download this Matrix trailer and it says "unable to view selected item" or something. Can anyone help?
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Fat Ass Man
on 20 Jan 2007 10:25 pm
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I'm so fat my underware is in HD. 1080 is my waist size!
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Tygerbug
The first annual Kermit-off 18 Jul 2003 01:15 pm
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"23 years and all I have to show for it is 'ow my groin' and 'what?'" - Rich Evans, The Orange Cow Awards
Congratulations to Michael A. Stoklasa, winner of the first annual South Dakota Kermit-off.
Held every year at the Rewind film festival in Rapid City South Dakota, the Kermit-off honors the rare individual who is willing to get up in front of an audience and try to talk like Kermit the Frog.
The event was held shortly after the presentation of the best feature award to Jay Bauman's Clowns and Suicide, which was accepted by FF head Garrett Gilchrist, since Jay wasn't there. (The eight awards won by Jay that night were all accepted by Mike Stoklasa, who hates Jay, or by Garrett, who was with Mike.)
Garrett's acceptance speech:
"This is for Dorothy Dandridge. This is for Halle Berry. This is for all the people who said a young black woman couldn't make it in this industry."
Garrett then switched gears into an impromptu Kermit the Frog impression, and asked others to do the same. Actually Garrett, Mike Stoklasa and Michael Linn had been planning this Kermit competition for months.
All three Kermit impressions were well recieved by the crowd (particularly by the Infiniti crew who apparently looked like they were ready to throw up/murder me when I started in on my impression), and no winner was actually announced at the fest itself, but Mike is a horrible egotist and seems to require the most validation, so let's officially announce him the winner here.
Forget best feature .... this was all about Rewind's best frog.
Honorable mentions go to Tristan Patrick --
(very low sexual male voice): "Uh. Uh. Ohhhh, Miss Piggy."
and to Jonason Ho:
(Deadpan in own voice): "I am Kermit the Frog."
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Death Row Inmate #862
on 13 Dec 2006 10:44 pm
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I wents to taco bell and got ecoli posening in my foods
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Fat Ass Man
on 04 Dec 2006 12:54 pm
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these new forum rules are just eating me up! soon I'll be a mere 500 pounds! Then I can finally ask our Alison Doody on a date and that sexy Will Tasker! AND Anna Paquin. I want her to sit on my face, but I fear she'll get lost in all the fat. Get it!? I'm faaaat, but boy oh boy is that Scarlet Johanson phat... PHAT as in hot! Ill be wearing a Scarlet Letter of my own... it'll be M for Masturbation! ho ho ho, but seriously folks have a Merry Christmas and don't forget your Xanax, Valium, and Penis Pills this holiday season. ho ho ho!
"My belly isn't filled with jelly, though I do play Santa on Christmas. My belly is actually made up of a dense 72 inch thick layer of globulous yellow fat that has accumulated over the years"
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Film Police - Officer Gueringer
on 09 May 2003 01:54 pm
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This is officer Gueringer of the Internet Film Police. I received a tip from someone about some film violations going on at this site. The violations were mainly commited by the shockingly bad Monkey Make Movie series, The Gods of Los Angeles trailer, and anything by David Ashe. We at the film police are issuing a citation to this site for providing unentertaining and profoundly unfunny material. Consider this a warning.
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Death Row Inmate #862
on 09 May 2003 01:59 pm
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Cough, pardon me.
Time for me to make my exit....
wait. I'm dead.
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Fat Ass Man
on 09 May 2003 05:18 pm
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I once broke the law. I sat on it.
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Death Row Inmate #862
on 22 Jan 2007 08:38 pm
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Cough, pardon me.
No seriously! PARDON ME! I'm gonna gets sent to the chair soons
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Fat Ass Man
on 19 Jan 2007 08:22 pm
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Some things should be a crime. How about that war for oil in Iraq!? I'm rolling in the oil here. Oh wait, thats just from my sweat glands. How about that Bird Flu (Avian Flu)? Look out! Birds! I killed all my pet birds cause I thought they were gonna give me bird flu. Battlestar Galactica is on.
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David Ashe
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Sometimes I want to make movies. I pick up my camera and think of a good story. Then, I throw my camera and cry. I lock myself in my room and masturbate for the rest of the night.
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Will Tasker
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I made a bunch of movies once.
But then I saw my reflection was Garrett.
I woke up screaming.
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Fat Ass Man
on 10 Jun 2003 09:11 am
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Hoooob a loo! Hoob a loo!! Hoob - a loo!!!!
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firetruck
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making up words, in this thread we doing that
brillionary - something that is a both brilliant and visionary
example: the Chicago Times calls Brugmann's directorial debut, Le Adveunteur de los Meurtos "a brillionary escapade...both a parody and a swan song to the delightful romps of yesteryear."
insullorible - that which is not only deemed horrible but also insulting.
example: Garrett's Ghostbusted 2 thing was insulloribly difficult to watch.
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EmpireExcape
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Upon the new found realization that this cannot be deleted, may I add poop fart shit dick.
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wrenny
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In other news, blah.
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Fat Ass Man
06 May 2003 11:09 pm
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Ho Ho Ho Its the magical time of the year kids, you know what time it is? Its time for (censored by communist liberals)mas! and this year I'm bringing a bagful of (holiday season related) joy to all the kids of the world! I'm large and in charge. My belly is full of jelly and soiled condoms! I'm fat ass man and I'm here to say I love XXXmas in a major way. Ho Ho Ho just clowning around, but seriously folks... how does one get rid of 34 soiled condoms in ones belly. I have a friend with this problem. Should he go to the hospital? Try to puke them up, or just let them digest? Is latex toxic? I should have thought of this before... I mean he should have thought of this before he made that dirty video "Santa and the Bear: XXX Raining Deer's Game" Ho Ho Ho.
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