Stoklasa Posted: May 19 2003, 09:44 AM Posts: 95 Member No.: 8 Joined: 6-May 03 So I finally saw Matrix Reloaded. and shrug, eh. something. The best and most interesting part was when they go meet the rogue french guy program. I like when Morpheus and Trinity and Neo go around and solve mysteries. Anything with the star trek vulcan council in weirdo land was lame. I liked the french guy! I liked when he fed that women the pussy cake. The real realy big problem is the editing and the pacing. The first half of the movie is littered with long pointless conversations and 30 minutes of the human-animals dancing....THEN it rushes the huge revalation in the end in like 5 minutes. It went from cartoony schlock to serious to what? to huh? then to...that was neat...to yawn. It was all over the board. Then its like "ooooh this is boring...um...lets have him fight the chinese guy now!" and I was horribly bored. PLUS all the revalations were too much. like neo stopping the sentinals in the real world and neo-not the one, but the 6th and god and such and what and reseting the matrix and recreating zion over and over again. We did not stick around to see the trailer, but I have a feeling neo will be fighting other neos or somthing lame. I'd rather see the third one all about Morpheus trying to figure out the code to the pussy cake, then like going around asking women, "Would you like to try some of my cake" additionally, It really comes off that the witchkowsi bros didn't really have a "grand vison" for all three rather this feels tacked on in a way. like "ummmm people liked agent smith...ummm HE made the matrix...ummm he's a human really" and then blortch. The highway chase was fun to an extent. It got a little old because the main characters became a little too superpowery and doing too much neo-like stuff. it soon became yawn and way too long. This movie knew that it's main audience was there to see the whoopin and the kickin' yet they cramed this complex plot and lots of talking too, poop. I'd really have to watch it again, but it was kind of all over the place. Could have been really cool if they stayed with one of their many many tones. Make the whole movie silly reality bending warner brothers schlock like to poly-smith fight or make it more realistic like the first one, or make it like dark city, or make it like jungle to jungle, or make it like a poison concert tour video, or like hamburger hill or who framed roger rabbit. plork fork. Guy who likes things Posted: May 19 2003, 12:26 PM >>I'd rather see the third one all about Morpheus trying to figure out the code to the pussy cake, then like going around asking women, "Would you like to try some of my cake" AGREED. THREAD OVER. Will Tasker Posted: May 19 2003, 08:09 PM Posts: 241 Member No.: 7 Joined: 6-May 03 I'm about as bored of hearing how flawed Reloaded was as I was tired of hearing how flawed Episode 1 was. You're just a bunch of whiny consumers who expected too much, got what you deserved and were raped for $8.50 because the Wachowski Brother's knew what the fuck they were doing, and you, as a fuckless worthless coddled whelp had the wool pulled over their eyes by Access Hollywood. Hell is full of the likes of you. And you're all forced to participate in the "Rave" scene of Reloaded. Those who were indifferent or didn't like this movie are apparently just as pretentious as they found this movie. You expected too much, you got exactly what you deserved. Now, all you assholes, get back in line for Episode 1 and whack off. Fucking dumbasses. wrenny   Posted: May 19 2003, 09:10 PM Posts: 248 Member No.: 4 Joined: 5-May 03 i *think* i agree? wait, what? you are SOOOO caustic tasker. it may be the ffuture. anywho. i am astonished to find that i am the only person i know (in z real life as well as online) who thought reloaded was tits. i am astonished at how much i disagree with garrett and jay about just about every movie we chat up. i am too easy to please, perhaps. i may have overdosed on pussy cake. ... people still need to make matrix fanfilms. pussy cake would be a fine entry. jonason and i were also babbling about one where some druggie is doping kids with the red pill blue pill trick and raping their sorry hacker asses. and then agents take interest because they think the druggie might stumble onto something. but they fail to track him down, because they keep taking over the bodies of young men having gay gay sex, and they are too embarassed to catch the druggie afore he runs off. and they start to develop feelings for each other. and in the end the druggie, cornered, convinces them to choose from a variety of meaningfully colored pills instead of bugging him. and the druggie rapes them. or something. ideas? blah blah. i am ffrustrated. tygerbug Posted: May 19 2003, 10:06 PM Administrator Posts: 878 Member No.: 1 Joined: 5-May 03 Yikes. Take some pills. And I don't mean red or blue ones. Well, those too if they help. Tasker, you posture and try to play cool, but you were just as disappointed by the film as we all were. When you realized your opinion was the same as the masses, you kept it hidden to see what would happen. As for a pussy cake fanfilm ... Aw, geez. Um, Jason, should we admit what we're doing? This project was supposed to be secret, but if we're going to mention it any time, it might as well be now. Vigilante Posted: May 19 2003, 10:46 PM Posts: 174 Member No.: 3 Joined: 5-May 03 Why the hell not? We'd be able to build up the suspense like REloaded did? firetruck Posted: May 26 2003, 11:44 PM Posts: 575 Member No.: 6 Joined: 6-May 03 QUOTE I'm about as bored of hearing how flawed Reloaded was as I was tired of hearing how flawed Episode 1 was. k i'm tired of war and high gas prices and the fact that i ain't gettin no regular poon. you know, if we're making lists. QUOTE and were raped for $8.50 dude movies are cheap where you are QUOTE And you're all forced to participate in the "Rave" scene of Reloaded. hey i got no problem with that i hear if you pause the dvd you can totoally see some b00bies naw'mean Chris Mundane Posted: May 28 2003, 12:06 PM Member Posts: 18 Member No.: 15 Joined: 12-May 03 From Derrida to Gnostic mythology, Matrix has brilliantly infused the soul from various philosophical sects. However, its presentation is offensively conspicuous and obtrusive to the movie-going experience. As an alternative, I would like to recommend a movie with a subtler take on the Gnostic mythology -"Summer Catch," starring Freddie Prince Jr. and Jessica Biel. Freddie Prince Jr. is Ryan Dunne, a blue-collar kid destined to enlighten humanity by becoming a major league baseball player. Every summer, the hottest college ball players descend upon Cape Cod to pursue their baseball dreams during the day and blow off steam at night with crack and crack whores. With his super-human power, Ryan is the first local boy in years to earn a slot in the team. But the temptations off field are getting in the way of his commitment to save humanity. He is especially distracted by an agent of the Lord of the Under-Realm - who disguised herself as a beautiful seductress who summers in the town with her family. As the friction builds between his loyal townie friends and his cocky teammates, Ryan's rivalry with hotshot teammate Eric comes to a head. When the Priest of the Enlightened Realm (disguised as a major league scout) comes along, he tries to push the pangs of romance and player rivalry aside, because his sports talent may be his only ticket out of the small industrial town and fulfills his rightful destiny as the savior of humanity. Rent "Summer Catch" tonight! You won't be sorry! Michael Linn Posted: May 28 2003, 06:22 PM Posts: 12 Member No.: 27 Joined: 26-May 03 One could also say... "fanboys want to love the matrix. because they are too cool for school." These statements are about as worthless as... "Ha! You went and saw it, so poo poo to you because you gave your money to the filmmakers" Or even... "Ha! You didn't like it, so YOU missed out!" Whatever. I'll always be critical of what I perceive as sloppy story-telling, including in my own work, and that will NEVER change. Those who embrace the psychology of the Matrix Reloaded turn a blind eye to the absurditites and talking-head expositional plot revelations. But since when did it become wrong to have an opinion? What's wrong with some people loving the Matrix Reloaded, and others hating it? I think that's the wonderful thing about filmmaking and people in general... everyone has such unique and varied tastes. Oh..and it's easy to act like assholes as you all hide behind your psuedo-nicknames. You know who you are. Absurdities... 1) Neo fights the Agent Smith's when he could just fly off (everyone catches this one, so come on try harder) 2) The Rave Scene 3) Neo stops hundreds of bullets... and then the bad guys come after him with HAND WEAPONS! More messed-up than absurd... 1) The orgasm cake shot (great as an idea, but did we need to fly into the crotch?!?!) 2) The Kiss Scene (although I hope this proves to have a point in ACT III) Want more? Talking Head Plot Revelations 1) The Oracle is part of the Matrix 2) The Architect reveals cool plot points (ergo this and ergo that) Christopher Hewitt Posted: Jun 5 2003, 10:35 AM Posts: 28 Member No.: 29 Joined: 5-June 03 There was this episode I did where everyone in the family was fighting, but by the end of the episode everyone forgot what they were fighting about, and I came in and reminded them how foolish they all were. tygerbug Posted: May 21 2003, 02:28 PM Administrator Posts: 878 Member No.: 1 Joined: 5-May 03 All right, we started today. Today, Jason Gutierrex and I shot the first three scenes for the second Matrix film, "Pussy Cake." Okay, so there already was a second Matrix film. But it was kind of mediocre and lame, so Orange Cow Productions is stepping in. Inspired by the scene in Matrix 2 where the French guy gives the chick some cake that makes her pussy go boom, the new Matrix film from Orange Cow is entitled simply "Pussy Cake." It is about Morpheus trying to figure out the code to the pussy cake, then like going around asking women, "Would you like to try some of my cake?" It is written and directed by no one, from a concept by the Wachowski Brothers and Warren Blyth. The first scenes shot involve Agent Smith (Garrett Gilchrist). In the film, Smith is trying to kill Neo for no particular reason ... as Neo is trying to go run fly and help Morpheus, who has gotten himself into extreme peril during a covert mission with Some Hot Italian Chick. In the scenes shot, Agent Smith copies himself a lot, and discovers that his first name is really "Indiana," which confuses him somewhat. The film has an incredible amount of CGI special effects and sex. We still need to cast all the hot chicks for the sex scenes. Morpheus, Neo, Trinity and Cypher are also not yet cast. We are also looking for a composer for the hit single. Production continues tomorrow, where we start in with some of the greenscreen fighting material. Amy Jo Johnson Posted: May 21 2003, 02:32 PM Newbie Posts: 8 Member No.: 21 Joined: 21-May 03 I would like to compose your hit single, if possible. I do a sort of mellow west coast indie folk-pop. I am also possibly interested in playing one of the hot chicks. I am a hot chick and I also know kung-fu. I have fought many stupid grey Putties, Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa. Actually, if the role of Trinity is still open, I could play one of her. tygerbug Posted: May 21 2003, 02:34 PM Administrator Posts: 878 Member No.: 1 Joined: 5-May 03 Hmmm ... I dunno, I was looking for more of a Ryan Winford type to do the single. Still, if nobody else replies within a week, I'll consider you. I'd definitely like you to play one of the hot chicks though. I was considering having Trinity sing in the film, so this might work for you. But .... what do you mean, "one of her?" Amy Jo Johnson Posted: May 21 2003, 02:36 PM Newbie Posts: 8 Member No.: 21 Joined: 21-May 03 Oh, sorry, I read the name Trinity and for some reason thought that there were three of her. I haven't seen the movie in a while. Well, let me know. I'm available and open to suggestion. I'm not really doing anything else at the moment. "Even Superman will cry when he sees himself walk by. Oh won't you walk slowly? Til the moon fell into the sun. Now life's begun!" Peter Jackson Posted: May 21 2003, 02:42 PM Posts: 15 Member No.: 22 Joined: 21-May 03 Aw, fuck. You guys beat me to it. I had the EXACT same idea when I saw the movie. I mean, the movie was ok, but the only part that really made any sense was the stuff with the Italian chick with the boobs ... and the fruity French guy and his cake. I said, this is the whole movie, right here. Fuck. I was gonna make it too. They make The Matrix in Australia, not super far from where we do our Dungeons and Dragons movies. Fuck .... um ..... I almost envy you guys .... um, no, envy isn't the word .... um ... fuck, ewok, I can't believe I'm saying this .... All right, so I'm a hugely famous fantasy film director. I make lots of money and am very sexually successful with whores and Fran Walsh. My next movie, King Kong 2: The Conqueror Ape, will surely be a disgustingly huge blockbuster. However, my real secret dream in life, and I've never told anybody this .... .... is to star in a crappy Matrix fanfilm. Sigh. ... I can't believe I'm saying this ... Could I have a part in your pussy cake movie? ... I live in Wellington, NZ but am willing to travel to L.A. if necessary. Or I could shoot my material against a greenscreen here. I have my own film equipment and stuff. I would take ANY role, no matter how small. But the role I really want ... ... don't laugh ... ... is Neo. tygerbug Posted: May 21 2003, 02:45 PM Administrator Posts: 878 Member No.: 1 Joined: 5-May 03 Your queries have been read by the Orange Cow Productions staff and taken into consideration. We should get back to you within 6-8 weeks. Most queries will be answered within 7 business days. Thank you for your interest in "Pussy Cake." P.S. Neo as a small fat bearded New Zealand man? Peter Jackson Posted: May 21 2003, 02:49 PM Member Posts: 15 Member No.: 22 Joined: 21-May 03 Fuck, I knew you'd all laugh at me. Ten billion dollars in box office receipts, you think people would finally start laughing at me, but nope. Nothing changes. I always really just wanted to be an action hero, be the cool guy, be the guy everyone looks up to and admires, who gets all the pussy, the cool cars, the guns, saves the world, knows kung fu. I want to be James Bond. I want to be Indiana Jones. I want to be Spiderman, Batman, Superman. I want to be Neo, dammit. You think it's easy being a fat, bearded famous film director? Ask George, he wants to be fucking Buck Rogers. He wanted to be Indiana Jones so bad he CREATED Indiana Jones. He wanted to be Indiana Jones before there was an Indiana Jones. Sigh. This is just a word of warning to all you budding film directors out there. Sure, maybe you'll hit it big and become incredibly successful, famous and critically acclaimed someday. But that's no substitute for being thin, muscular and getting all the chicks. All these years and all this success and I'm STILL jealous of the same idiots who pushed me around in high school. Hey look! It's a bottle of scotch! I think I'll drink it!