GHOSTBUSTED

(or, I Ain't Afraid ...)

Here is part of the original script for Ghostbusted. This script was never shot as you see it here, apart from the first scene with Max and Janine. Some of the following scenes were shot but the actors played them very loosely.

The original text document of this script has been lost. This part of the script has been scanned in from a hard copy, and partly retyped by hand. I was only able to find 7 pages, which should be pages 3-9 of a 16-20 page script (or so).

This was written for the roster of people who showed up at the first Camp Rewind the first few days. Mike Stoklasa, Jay Bauman, the Queequeg crew etc. hadn't showed up yet, and were not written into this script.

Cast would have been as follows:

Max Bookwalter: Jason Santo

Janine: April (Cresey) Santo

Jon (Harry) Calgary: Jon Ashby

Jackie Lee: Wally Fong

Louis: Garrett Gilchrist

Winston Alan: Alan Winston

Tani: Erin Arbogast

Ranger Marc Evans: Marc Linn

The character of Janine is seen in one scene in the final film, always with her hand clasped to her ear. The joke in this planned film would have been that Janine ALWAYS has her hand clasped to her ear, no matter what.

The beginning dialogue is still in the final film - although the script specifies that Max and Janine are sitting in a car at night, with ominous lightning overhead. Max asks Janine what she wanted to be when she grew up - she says she wanted to be a psychologist (because she's a good listener), and he says he wanted to be a Ghostbuster.

MAX: Yeah, I mean, I know in retrospect it was a stupid dream. Because you can't be a real Ghostbuster. Which is a shame, you know. Because I still think that would be the coolest job ever.

JANlNE: You know, you're not like other men I've met.¬Ý

MAX: I'm not?

--

CREDITS.

--

[Late day, on a horse ranch somewhere. MAX drives up in his car, wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt. He is stopped by HARRY CALGARY, a tall, pale blonde man in a cowboy hat and loud dragon shirt. CALGARY smiles and waves both his arms as the car stops right in front of him. MAX gets out of the car and shakes CALGARY's hand.]

CALGARY: Max Bookwalter, You old pigfucker, how are ya, eh?¬Ý

MAX: Lousy. How are you?¬Ý

CALGARY: You're lousy? Come on man, this is supposed to be a happy occasion, eh!

MAX; Ah, I dunno, I may be klnda bummed out for this whole thing. Janine left me.

CALGARY: Your girlfriend, eh. The one with the [points to his ear] ...

MAX: Yeah. She dumped me.

CALGARY: You told her about wanting to be a ghostbuster, didn't you?

MAX: Yeah.¬Ý

CALGARY: You dumb fuck.

--

[cut to the inside of the ranch. Calgary enters, followed by Max. JACKIE LEE is sitting on the couch. He quickly stands up and walks toward Max.]

JACKIE: Max!¬Ý

MAX: Hi, uh ..¬Ý

JACKIE: It's good to see ya ... [Jackie gives Max a huge hug.]

MAX: Yeah, good to see you too. Who are you again?¬Ý

JACKIE: I'm Jackie. Jackie Lee! Come on, we talk online all the time!

MAX: Oh. Right. You're the guy. Okay.

[A cat falls on Max. He shouts and yells.]

MAX: Judas priest!

CALGARY: Oh yeah. That's our cat Slimer, eh. He does that sometimes.¬Ý

[Jackie grabs Max's shoulder.]¬Ý

JACKIE: Oh, we're gonna have some fun together Max. We've got chips and dip and buffalo wings and twenty-four hours of Jackie Chan on DVD.

CALGARY: And the piece de resistance ... [he produces a DVD] ... Gladiator Eroticus. [Now Max gets interested. He walks over and grabs the DVD.]

MAX: You didn't.

CALGARY: I did. Antidote to your lady troubles, eh.¬Ý

JACKIE: After Jackie.¬Ý

CALGARY: After Jackie, Jackie.¬Ý

--

[Some minutes later. Food is being grabbed out of fridges and eaten.]

MAX: So who else is coming to this party thing?

JACKIE: Gonna be a bitchin' party, man.

CALGARY: Well, that Alan guy was supposed to come over.

MAX: Winston Alan?

JACKIE: Gonna be a bitchin' party, man.

CALGARY: Yeah, that's the guy eh. I don't really know him.

MAX: Oh god. I was hoping you didn't invite that guy.

CALGARY: Why not?

JACKIE: Gonna be a bitchin' party, man.

MAX: Ah, we tried to make a movie together in college, and it didn't really... work out ... I mean, it really didn't work out. I mean, the movie was so shitty one of our actors killed himself. That's Winston.¬Ý

[The doorbell rings and the door opens and WINSTON ALAN enters, with his girlfriend TANI. Both have many, many fake guns on their person.]

MAX: Oh shit, that's Winston now.

CALGARY: Greetings, eh!

WINSTON: Harry Calgary, I can't believe I'm finally meeting you. It's an honor, sir. A deep, lasting and very real honor. And ...

[Max walks into view. Winston turns and looks at him.]

WINSTON: [with contempt] Oh. Hi ... Max.

MAX: [with even more contempt] Hi.

[TANI shakes Calgary's hand.]

TANI: I'm Tani. Pleased to meet you.

JACKIE: Gonna be a bitchin' party, man.

--

[It is dark now. lightning strikes outside. Inside the ranch, everyone is just talking cheerfulIy, getting to know one another. Except Max, who is pacing around the room, as far as he can get from the revelry. Finally he finds himself staring at a phone. He grabs it and dials.]

[JANINE is sitting boredly on her couch when the phone rings. With some interest, she picks it up.]

JANINE: Hello?

[We intercut with Max on the Rhone at the ranch. He doesn't say anything.]

JANINE: Hello?

MAX: Janine, I'm sorry.

JANINE: I don't have time for this, Max.

MAX: No, listen to me.

JANINE: I'm hanging the phone up.

[but she doesn't. A pause.]

MAX: Janine, are you there? [pause] Janine, I just want you to know that I love you, more than anything. And I want to find a way to make this relationship work. [pause] Janine?¬Ý

JANINE: You are a child, Max. An emotionally stunted child. You couldn't make a relationship with a pet goldfish. And you certainly can't handle me.

MAX: Okay, I know I creeped you out a little bit with the whole Ghostbusting thing, but those days are long gone, trust me. I don't even think about Ghostbusters anymore. [he looks down briefly at his t-shirt.] Much.

JANINE: I'm hanging up right now.

MAX: No please don't --

[She hangs up. Max is alone with a dead line.]

MAX: [as expletive] ... Fishballs.

[pause. The guys are all on the couch - Jackie looks at Max.]

JACKIE: Hey, you watching the movie? Jackie Chan waits for no man!

MAX: [sighs] Yeah, whoo.

[Max turns sadly and sits down on the couch.]

CALGARY: Bitchin party, eh?

--

[Janine is still sitting on her couch.]

JANINE: Ghostbusting. [she shakes her head and picks up a dog to pet.]

[The doorbell rings. She gets up and answers the door.]¬Ý

JANINE: Hello?

[A smallish, nervous man with glasses, LOUIS, comes into view suddenly. JANINE gasps, startled.]

LOUIS: Oh, hi Janine.

JANINE: Hi ... Louis.

LOUIS: It's good to see you, y'know, I thought I'd come by, cuz, like, I, well, I locked myself out of my apartment, uh ...

JANINE: Again?¬Ý

LOUIS: Yeah, I locked, and the...

JANINE: This is the fifth time this week!

LOUIS: Well, I... the cats ... and the...

JANINE: It's okay Louis, come in, I'll get your spare set of keys from the cupboard.

[She opens the door and he comes in quickly. She is already gone to get the keys.]

LOUIS: Aw geez, thanks Janine, I mean it's real good of you to keep my extra keys safe for me and all, I mean you're a real good person, like, no matter what anybody says, y'know.

[She returns with the keys]

JANINE: Here you are.

LOUIS: Aw, geez, thanks Janine, I mean it's...

JANINE: [interrupting] Just don't let it happen again. Five times this week, Louis. If I didn't know better I'd think you were doing this as an excuse to come see me.

LOUIS: Naw, geez, naw, nothin like that, I mean you're a groovy chick and all, but I mean I already got the cats back home. And don't you like already have a boyfriend, I mean he was a pretty class act I thought when I was watchin you guys and admittedly I don't know many people but he seemed kinda cool and all I guess except when he was dancing I mean the guy really can't dance, and ...

[She is sort of pushing him out the door now.]

JANINE: Right, well, nice to see ya Louis, goodbye.

[He is outside, backing down the front steps.]

LOUIS: Aw okay bye Janine, I...¬Ý

[The door closes.]

JANINE: Good luck working at Wendy's.

[Lightning crashes in the distance. Louis walks backward.]

LOUIS: Aw, Wendy's? Yeah, that's a pretty good gig. They say if I keep up the good work I'm a week away from a promotion --

[Lightning strikes Louis, and his charred remains fall to the ground. Janine stares in bewildered horror.]

JANINE: Louis? [beat] LOUIS!

[She runs toward Louis' smoldering remains. His glasses steam and born on the grass.]

--dissolve to:¬Ý

[Back inside the ranch, the tv is showing the opening credits to "Shanghai Noon." The guys on the couch read along with the names, crack jokes and cheer. Tani looks bored.]¬Ý

CALGARY: All right, all right, now let's get ready for some action.

[Lightning strikes. The power goes out. Everything goes dark. Silence for a moment.]

JACKIE: What happened?

TANI: Well, I think it just got really dark of a sudden.

[The guys stand just outside ttie ranch in the dusk, lit by moonlight, looking over the ranch in general, and over the city on the horizon. The clouds look very ominous, and lightning strikes constantly.]

CALGARY: Well, the power's not out in the city.

JACKIE: Maybe it's just us.

CALGARY: Hard to tell, eh. I kinda live sixteen miles from anywhere.

TANI: Great.

WINSTON: This is fucking stupid. I come out here for a little Jackie Chan action and the fucking power goes out and we're fucking stuck in the fucking middle of fucking ... fucksville. I mean, fuck, man, fuck. Fuck.

TANI: You wanna?

WINSTON: I wanna what? [pause] Oh. Ohhh. Oh yeah guys, Tani and I are gonna leave and go home now, okay? Okay.

[TANI and WINSTON leave for their car.]

JACKIE: My laptop's got a DVD player in it, that might work.

CALGARY: You brought your laptop to this?

JACKIE: I can't not check my email, man.

[We hear WINSTON's car start up and start driving away. MAX has been staring very intently at the clouds overhead this whole time.]

MAX: Have you ever seen so much lightning in your life? Something's wrong here. I've only seen clouds like this once, and even they weren't clouds like this.

CALGARY: Yeah, we're in for one pisser of a storm, eh?

[A sudden explosion of light appears, right in front of Winston and Tani's car. They scream and swerve as the light hits them. The guys turn and look.]

JACKIE: What the ... heck?

[A shape, made entirely of white light, bounces off of the car roof and disappears into the pavement. Winston's car comes to a quick braking stop. Winstun and Tani rush out of the car. Max, Calgary and Jackie run tward them.]

WlNSTON: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

JACKIE: That was awesome ... dude, that was so fucking awesome.

CALGARY: What was it?

WINSTON: IT'S GONE NOW! IT WAS HERE A SECOND AGO! IT HIT MY FUCKING CAR, SO WHERE lS IT?

CALGARY: What the living heck was it?¬Ý

JACKIE: It was awesome dude, that was just really awesome.

[Another white shape zips by the camera. Everyone turns around to look.]

The ending is missing. About twice this much was written.

There is much more with the ghosts, notably a main ghost (intended to be played by Steve Gervais) who is the ghost of the guy who died during the filming of Max's old student film.

Janine encounters ghosts and runs screaming in fear after the death of Louis. She eventually winds up accidentally at the ranch and meets Max. There is some business where they try to hit the ghosts with a car. Louis would almost certainly have returned as a ghost.

In the end, Max, Calgary, Jackie and Winston dress up as Ghostbusters and go to Mount Rushmore, where they are hassled by Ranger Marc Evans (Marc Linn, in a combined spoof of his roles in Skins and Indiana Jed). The ending at Mount Rushmore involves everyone. A giant ghost attacks, and it seems like they're going to die. Janine tells Max she loves him, which causes everyone to (comedically) declare their love for someone, a la Ghostbusters 2 I suppose. This basic idea survived into the ending of the final movie - there was a ghost attack at Mount Rushmore involving a lot of cast members, and everyone told everyone they loved them .... but the film had become a parody of itself at this point so it was done in a much looser way with everyone out of character playing themselves.

The original film would have ended with the Ghostbusters turning on their proton packs and shooting at the Rushmore ghost.

--

Jon Ashby's role as Calgary was intended to be an Egon-type role, which was eventually filled by Mike Stoklasa's Eddie K. Gore by the time of Ghostbusted 3.

The film fell apart during shooting, and the story had to be changed and ignored when Jason Santo became too busy filming Transients to finish his part as Max Bookwalter. Hanging out with Mike Stoklasa and Jay Bauman, I wound up filming random material with them, and never completing the film as intended.

However, Ghostbusted 3 completed the story of Max Bookwalter, and was even more of a Ghostbustery epic than this script had been intended to be.

Ghostbusted 3 also included a character called Seymour played by myself - named for Rick Moranis' character in Little Shop of Horrors. This is surely a reference to this script, where I would have played something akin to Rick Moranis' Ghostbusters character, Louis .... in the style of my Moranis-like character Radio Man (who was just being created when I wrote this).

A reference to "Gladiator Eroticus" comes from Jason Santo's own interest in silly direct to video films of that nature.

Jackie Lee's catchphrase, "gonna be a bitchin' party," became Anthony Stella's screamed catchphrase in the final film.

A storyline about Max and Winston having made a disastrous student film where an actor killed himself was changed to Max and Eddie (Mike Stoklasa) in the final film.

Winston's overenthusiastic meeting with Calgary inspired, with the roles reversed, an overenthusiastic Marc Linn meeting Alan Winston in the final film.