Bob: So the t.v. show ends in 1974, and you turn your attack ... I feel like Ralph Edwards, in "This is Your Life" ... And now ... Michael: (Rambles on like a deaf old lady) Bob: To movies. Venture into the world of cinema. Four very funny and unique movies, "And Now For Something Completely Different", "Quest for The Holy Grail" (footnote 1), "Life of Brian" and "The Meaning of Life." CLIP: Holy Grail Angels animation Black Knight, from "None shall pass" to "I'll bite yer legs off!"
BACK TO STAGE Bob: The Black Knight part of that I always thought was a wonderful example of something which can appear so gross for a moment but is not, is really very funny, because he's showing no pain. You call it cartoon, don't you? John: Yes, that's right, he shows no pain, and that's the key thing. Terry G: I remember seeing the opening in NY when the Vietnam War was still on, and the audience just went deadly still because then violence was a very bad thing so any form of violence, even cartoon chopping off limbs, just, they went still. And I think it was your second leg, when that came off they realized, oh, there's something funny going on. You can laugh at violence in the right form. Michael: It was an odd film, I mean that was made for very little money, I think 210 thousand. Eric: It's one of the virtues of having no budget, actually, because the reason we got to having the coconuts was 'cause we couldn't afford horses, it was as simple as that. Michael: The original sketch was we had people with coconuts and so we kept that all the way through and everyone has a man with coconuts, so here, we can save money. Bob: Religion keeps on coming back in your subjects. Eric: Yes, do you know who is the only character in all the Python movies? This is a trick question. Does anybody know? Bob: God? Eric: God. NOT A CLIP But instead a still photo of Graham's Brian on the cross. Eric's recorded voice talks over it: "This is where we were going to have some incredibly hilarious footage from our film The Life of Brian. Unfortunately, we are in litigation over it. (footnote 2) However, we invite you to picture it in your minds now, and if you do we promise not to sue you for violation of copyright."
BACK TO STAGE Bob: Now that must have caused quite a flurry. I know, I mean the scene on the crucifix is ... Terry G: It's interesting in the States because it got on well in England and in Ireland, but in America, especially the Bible Belt, it just killed it dead, nobody went. In England, where in different towns it was banned, people organized bus parties and went from the towns where it was banned to the towns where you could see it. Bob: But isn't your point, you actually think it's moral in a way? John: Yeah, I would stand up and fight for that. Eric: It was moral in its way because what actually happened was it started off as a whole series of blasphemous jokes, you know when we first started to write it, and after a bit we went away and we did some research, we read the books, we read books on the books, the gospels and the dead sea scrolls, and we did research and we came back and we said it's really very hard to make fun of Jesus Christ, of what he said, of what he is because its very moral, its good moral philosophy, you cannot really abuse it, it isn't susceptible to laughter. So that sort of altered our thinking and where we come in. And we're very careful because we put him in twice, his birth is in there, and he's also giving the sermon on the mount. So what we did was like, wouldn't it be funny if you had someone who was living at the same time who was mistaken for the messiah? That's the way we got into it, and we were very careful not to put the Christ in there. Michael: I hadn't noticed that. Terry G: Well the crucifix was slightly reminiscent. Eric: Yeah but people were crucified, I mean he wasn't the only person crucified. Terry J: There was nothing funny about what Christ said and what's funny really is the fact that Christ said all these really good things about Love Thy Neighbor and everything, and then for the next two thousand years people are killing each other and torturing each other because they can't quite decide how he said it. (applause) The film is heretical but it's not blasphemous, it's a heresy. John: I don't think it's a heresy, it's about making fun of a way that people misunderstand the teaching. Terry J: Of course it's heretical, John, because it's attacking the church! I mean it has to be heretical! John: No, its not attacking the church necessarily, it's about people who cannot agree with each other! Eric: No it's not! CLIP Opening credit animation & song from Meaning Of Life BACK TO STAGE Terry J: I remember Mike reading out the Mr. Creosote sketch which is from the Meaning Of Life, it's the sketch about the big fat man who's throwing up in the restaurant. (applause) It was just after lunch when Mike read it out. Nobody thought it was funny in the group and it just went to the bottom of the pile. And then about a month later, John rang me up and said, (as John) "Ayyy hello old plum, you know, ah, you know that Mr. Creosote sketch, I think it could be quite funny." I'll tell you what John had realized was that the waiter was the funniest part in it. John is laughing half-embarrasedly. He looks down and gives a thumbs-up. CLIP Mr. Creosote scene From "Finally monsieur, a wafer thin mint" through the explosion
BACK TO STAGE Bob: Moving on to the idea of a live performance, which is certainly, I can't think of any other television stars who made their reputation on television and they go around doing their pieces live and you toured England, you made some appearances here, and we have some footage of some of these which you might very well not have seen. Unseen stage footage??? Fans worldwide hold their breath in anticipation. The CLIP starts and all our hearts sink. We've seen it, Bob. CLIP From Hollywood Bowl movie Sit on My Face (including bums) Four Yorkshiremen (condensed, but still overlong) BACK TO STAGE Bob: Was it a revelation to you that when you did these live shows, they made you feel like rock stars, the crowds and all that ... Michael: Towards the end, the early ones were a bit ragged, really. In fact I remember when Graham, very eccentric, always was, I was doing the Ken Shabby sketch (Ken Shabby voice) "gobbing on the carpet" (normal voice) and Graham forgot to come on. And he had the first line, which was the man "now you say you want to marry my daughter" so we couldn't do anything until he came on, and I just sat there gobbing away (gobs) and eventually, since he never came on, (to John) you came on, dressed as an archbishop from the sketch that you were going to follow this one, and did the words perfectly, so it was a very bizarre sketch, an archbishop asking why he wanted his daughter's hand in marriage. John: When we got to New York, I always remember this on the opening night, was that we went out to do the first sketch, I can't think what it was, and we did the first line and got this roar (does a roar) you know and we thought, oh, wonderful! here we go! And we then played the rest of the sketch to complete silence. It was disorienting, yet when we did the last line, (does another roar)! And I came off and I said to the stage hand what is going on? And he said come, and he took me over and we looked through a little drawstring in the curtain, and I looked at the audience and they were sitting there going (stares and moves lips, mimes folks like us in the audience). They knew the words! Bob: They knew the words. Michael: Well they knew the words, we used to do the parrot sketch and they would occasionally shout the line when John was leaving a rather skillful, pregnant pause, someone would shout the line, "DECEASED!" and John would get very angry. Eric: It was probably the only show where you could dry and get a prompt from the audience. Bob: And Carol Cleveland was on that tour, wasn't she? CLIP Hollywood Bowl travel agency sketch "Have you come to arrange a holiday, or would you like a blow job?" BACK TO STAGE Eric: The reason Carol was in the show was because we were playing all the female parts, because we like dressing up, and we had one sketch which was really about, about sex and it doesn't work when you're playing it with a guy in drag, it has different, uh... Terry J: Have you tried it, Eric? Eric: I tried it once. You know, once a philosopher, twice a pervert. And so we had to get a real female to make the joke work, and then so, uh, was it, uh, Howard Davies brought in this girl, and we liked her very much and she was very funny and we stuck with her. Bob: And did you hide in her closet?
Michael: What? No. Well, I wasn't hiding, I'd gone in to fetch something. I'd left an adz in there. It's the sort of thing you use for planing wood. (John loses it completely over this - inside joke? - belting that high-pitched laugh of his that we hear so rarely, and making it difficult to understand what Michael says next) I'd left it in there and I wanted to use it in a show I was doing after we finished our show, a guy in a sort of carpentry show, in which I did a sort of impromptu thing about carpentry, and I'd left it and thought, where is it? And it was in Carol's bloody cupboard in her room, and so anyway I sneaked in and I was there getting the adz and she woke up, and the rest is history. John: I hid in his room once. We got back from filming on Jersey and I was in the first car and they gave me the key and I went up and I... Michael: Oh dear. John: I realized it wasn't for my room it was for Michael's which was next door, so I unlocked the door, and I went down and got my key and I thought well I've got to take advantage of this so I went into his room and put the lights on and had a look around and there was a dressing table in the corner. So I got behind that, and, um, having turned the lights out, Michael came in ... Michael: As it was my room! There was nothing kinky about that! It's my room! John: So I could have reached through and touched him there, but he never saw me and then he went and started brushing his teeth, then he started taking his clothes off and he put his pajamas on and got into bed and put his glasses on and got a book and started to read and I realized the joke was on me! I didn't know what to do so I sat there for about five minutes then I thought, well, I just got up and said "I'm awfully sorry Michael, but I have to go now." Michael: No, I remember what happened, Carol shouted "get out!" John: That was it.
Bob: We want to kind of wrap it up with a few more questions from the internet. This one is kind of interesting, I suppose it's saying what your favorite is, but it says "suppose all of you died suddenly and God said every one of you could return to earth provided that you return as only one of the many characters you played during the Monty Python lifetime, who would you chose?" Michael: I'd choose the character I played which is the front half of a pantomime horse. And I had to leap into a very high powered sportscar, Jaguar sportscar (CLIP OF THIS SHOWN) and drive it, along the Scottish roads, dressed as a panto horse, just looking through this little slit at the bottom of the throat, driving this thing at about 60 miles per hour and, you know, that I could get very fond of. You know, as a new Olympic sport. John: I like Mr. Equator, cause he'd just look at a woman and say, (does Mr. Equator) Whoa, that's a nice pair darling innit? CLIP Mr. Equator grabbing Iris who screams BACK TO STAGE Terry G: I think I'd have to go and try to get the one I didn't get right right. At one point we were filming down in Dartsmoore and I had to come down as an American dialogue coach and say "okay." And I actually couldn't say "okay" in an American accent! CLIP Teddy Salad disguised as Dog "Okay. Gimme another meatball, and I'll tell ya!" BACK TO STAGE Terry G: I completely blew it. Terry J: Only the flaw about this whole question is that it assumes you'd want to come back down to earth! I suppose I'd be the lady who sells (does the voice) Spam spam spam... CLIP " Spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam." BACK TO STAGE Eric: I think I'd like to be (does the voice) a philosopher called Bruce, actually! Cause I had the most fun, you know, how you can say all sorts of awful things, like, the whole bloody audience, you know, the adults are all on drugs and the all the kids are all on roller skates except I got that wrong, didn't I? CLIP Bruces from Hollywood Bowl "They're a typical Hollywood audience. All the kids are on drugs and all the adults are on roller skates." BACK TO STAGE Bob: The number one question from the internet, and there were many, was "when are we going to see another movie, what does the future hold?" What is all this clamor for seeing Python after all these years doing something together? Michael: Funny you should ask that. Terry J: We've got rather a dramatic announcement to make, actually. John: We had a meeting here today in Aspen, in an oxygen tent, and we decided that as next year is the 30th anniversary of Monty Python, we are going to do something. (wild cheering) We're gonna have tea. Bob: Well it was wonderful seeing you all get together yesterday, walked into the room, some of you hadn't seen each other for a while, seems you went into your old patterns ... Michael: Once we got the names right. Terry J: Well this is the first time we've all been on a stage together for 18 years. (dutiful applause)
Bob: Well you know we brought you together tonight not only to explore your wonderful work, but also to honor you. Now this is not a surprise to you, I know this, but the American Film Institute ... Terry J: Aww, we were just going to do the "surprise" reaction. Michael: I was just trying to find my motivation. John: Do it again. Bob: Well, you're supposed to go ... Michael: Do it again, and we'll act very surprised. Bob: We brought you all together here not only to explore and remember the wonderful work, but also honor you ... Hushed gasps. Terry J: Oh!. Michael: Who, us? Eric: Why, why that's sweet! That's so nice! They all act very surprised. Michael starts looking for awards inside Graham's urn, and coughs from the dust. Bob: The American Film Institute has chosen you to be this year's recipients of their prestigious Star Award, and here to present you with this award is the Chair Emeritus of the AFI Third Decade Council, Kathleen Summers. (An industry lady who looks like she'd be a scary boss comes out with some avant-garde metal trophy thing and recites her rehearsed speech woodenly, probably not as well as she did it in the mirror that morning. (footnote 3) Eric sidles up behind her oddly and cranes his ear to hers, apparently to hear better. Terry J does something similar.) Kathleen the Industry Phony: The American Film Institute's Star Award honors the talents of those who have made a significant impact and have had an enduring influence on the television and motion picture industry. Past honorees include Albert Brooks, Steve Martin and Rob Reiner, and tonight we are proud to honor the very unique and original talent of Monty Python. (envious applause as they all stand up and John takes the little thing.) John: On behalf of the group I'd like to say a word of thanks. We Monty Pythons started together 29 years ago, and here we are, receiving ... this ... award ... at last. And you know, I often think how much it would have helped us when the show was struggling to find an audience, if we'd received an award like this, then. You know, but we didn't. But we never did. Nothing. Not a fucking sausage. But you see, now we're all rich and famous, it's a different story, isn't it? I mean you're all creaming your jeans trying to find ways to rub shoulders with us now! You drag us out in the backwoods of America to give us this bit of shit! Terry G, who has been eyeing him suspiciously, now nods to the others and they grab him and drag him off just as he is throwing the award disgustedly to the floor. Eric hastily retrieves the trophy, looking out into the audience apologetically. Both Terries have their eye on him. Eric: Ladies and gentlemen, uh, I'd just like to say thank you very much, deeply, and sincerely, and from the heart, there's a lot of love in this room. And we really appreciate it. This award means an awful lot to us. I've never had an award. And it's really the nicest thing that's ever happened to me ... Terry J: Don't go over the top, Eric. Eric: In fact, I'd like to sing, I'm so happy! Terry G drags him off as Terry J grabs the award. When no one is looking Eric sneaks off and gets himself a guitar. John re-takes center stage. John: Actually, I've changed my mind, I'm very very touched, and thank you. Terry J: We really are very grateful and we'd like to say thank you very very much.
Graham's urn starts to wobble back and forth on the trunk above his cutout face and makes a sort of spoon-tapping-on-water-glass clinking noise. Terry J: It's Graham. John: He wants the award. Terry J: I think he wants the award. He lifts the lid of the urn and drops the award in the urn. Bit of applause from John. Its thud kicks up a puff of ash and Terry J lets the lid plop back down. Graham: CLINK CLINK CLINK!! John: No, he's still ... Eric: We can hear you, what is it? Graham: CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK! Terry J: He wants to give us a message. Michael: He wants to answer a question. Knock twice for yes, once for no. Graham: CLINK CLINK Michael: About the show? Graham: CLINK Michael: About the movies? Graham: CLINK CLINK John: About the movies. Michael: Which one? Life of Brian? Graham: CLINK Michael: Meaning of Life? Graham: CLINK CLINK!! All: Meaning of Life! John: You want ... AH! Graham, do you want to tell us, from the other side, about the meaning of life? Graham: CLINK CLINK!! John: Ladies and Gentlemen, Graham Chapman, EX-Chapman, is going to tell us about the meaning of life. Graham: CLINK; -- CLINK CLINK; -- CLINK CLINK, CLINK CLINK, CLINK CLINK; -- Graham starts clinking rhythmically, repeating the same beat over and over while his corporeal troupemates try to figure out what song he's doing. Eric strums the guitar for each guess. Eric: No, it's uh, "sit on my face and tell me that you ..." no ... "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis, isn't it"... no, "I like Chinese," no ... Oh! That's what it is, I know it! (strums)
"Sahhhhm fings in life are bad, they can really make you mad, uhva fings just make you swear and curse... Graham: CLINK! CLINK! Eric: When you're chewin' on life's gristle, DAN'T grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help fings turn out for da best, AYYYYND... ALL: Always look on the bright side of life, (whistle) always look on... They do the whole song dancing around the stage as Graham sways back and forth, clinking to the music. The audience claps and whistles along almost instantly. Terry J even dances with Kathleen the Industry Phony. Lyrics appear on the backscreen and all in the audience can't help but sing along, following the bouncing foot. Tea and biscuits are served and the legged Pythons share this with Graham by pouring tea, milk and sugar into his urn. Michael goes so far as to toss biscuits out into the appreciative crowd. Bob: (through a mouthful of tea) Thank you so much for watching. (Wild applause.) Graham's urn rocks, the end credits roll, the Pythons are singing a song together and all is right with the world.

CLIP
The Gumbies call it:

THE END