And now, ladies and gentlemen, Bevis the Barber.

Thank you, Reg. Hello all. My name is Bevis, and I, of course, am here today to talk to you about hairdressing as a possible profession.

In hairdressing your best friend is your trusty pair of scissors. You take these scissors, and ever-so-carefully snip at your client's head. Oh, but your scissors are a fickle friend. One slip of the hand and --WHACK! BLOOD! DEATH! CARNAGE!! ARTERIES! GUSHING!! MURDER!! MURDER!!!

Of course, you have other tools, too. There is the electric razor, with foul biting teeth that, should you so much as move a muscle the wrong way could TEAR A CLIENT'S FACE OFF, just like THAT! This is why you must prepare yourself carefully before each appointment. Myself, I usually drink a bottle of Redeye.

Oh, who am I kidding? It's all a horrible charade! I'm not cut out for this barbering stuff, never was. The hell with it! ...I didn't want to be a barber anyway! I wanted to be...



...A LUMBERJACK!




Here they are, the classic thirteen shows that started it all. The BBC's new comedy programme, "Monty Python's Flying Circus," won a devoted set of viewers almost from the start. But then, who couldn't like a show in which sheep fly, lumberjacks wear women's clothes, and an obviously dead parrot can be "just resting?" To tell the first series apart from the others, take note of the embryonic animated titles by Terry Gilliam, and look for Michael Palin as the "It's" man. This haggard, haunted character does a brief bit in each show before saying "It's..."




The Scripts



Whither Canada?: The full script of the first Monty Python's Flying Circus ever shot. It was written as the first episode and aired as the second. It features favorites like "It's the Arts" and "The Killer Joke." Enjoy. I always do.

Full Frontal Nudity: The full script from MPFC series 1, show 9. Features "Hell's Grannies," "Buying a Bed," "The Colonel Stops It," and, of course, the world-famous "Pet Shop (Dead Parrot) Sketch."

Sketches from Flying Circus Show 7

Also enjoy our Flying Circus Sketches Collection, featuring basically every sketch performed on Monty Python's Flying Circus, all in one big ZIP.




Pictures, eh?




The Skyron Blancmange plays tennis (1-7)
The Colonel stops the show (1-9)


Gallery from Season 1 Episode 4

Gallery from Season 1 Episode 4

Gallery from Season 1 Episode 9

Gallery from Season 1 Opening Titles

Pictures from all four seasons
(from Parrot Sketch Not Included)

Pictures from all four seasons
(production photos)

Miscellaneous Pics




Sounds


Noisy bits from all over the Net.

Visit our Flying Circus WAV directory!




MIDI Music


Synthesized versions of your Python favorites.

The Lumberjack Song : Sing along, if you know the words. A dead-on perfect MIDI by the emperor of France, Steve Hull (STHMID@aol.com)!

The Liberty Bell March : The march by John Philip Sousa better known as the Flying Circus Theme Song!

A Python Medley : Featuring the Lumberjack Song and other Python favorites by the center fielder for the Atlanta Braves, Steve Hull (STHMID@aol.com)!

Or get our entire Monty Python MIDI Collection in one ZIP! It includes what's above and much, much more. If you haven't DL'ed it yet here's your chance!




The Episodes



SHOW 1 - Sex and Violence, or Bunn, Whackett, Buzzard, Stubble, and Boot (Recorded as Show 2)
Recorded on 30th August 1969 and first shown on 12th October 1969
Actually the second episode shot, it was aired first to draw viewers. The American version of this show is slightly shortened.


SHOW 2 - Whither Canada? (Recorded as Show 1)
Recorded on 7th September 1969 and first shown on 5th October 1969.




Music cues list
Compiled by James Gent



1/1: WHITHER CANADA?

Titles: 'Liberty Bell March' - The Grenadier Guards Band (LP: 'Sousa Marches', Decca PFS 4134, 1968). 'It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart': 'Gigue In G, K574' - Artur Balsam (LP: 'Mozart Piano Music Volume 1', L'Oiseau-Lyre SOL 60021, 1962). 'It's The Arts': Mozart's 'Quartet No.3 in F, K590 Prussian No.3' - Weller Quartet (LP: 'Mozart Quartets', Decca SXL 6258, 1966; CD: 'Original Masters', Decca 491302); Wilfred Burns' 'Saturday Sports' - International Radio Orchestra. Animation: 'Baywood Villa ­ Fairground Organ' - Rob Barker (Public Domain). 'The Funniest Joke In The World': 'In The News' - Johnny Hawksworth (LP: 'Pop', Illustration IM5), Beethoven's 'Symphony No. 4' - Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra (LP: Deutsche Grammophon DGL SKL 101-108, 1962/CD: DGC 463 088-2, 1999), 'Deutschland Uber Alles' (LP: 'Hitler's Inferno', Audio Rarities/Kinor 2445), 'Rule Britannia', Irish Guards Band (78: HMV DLP1098, 1955).

1/2: SEX AND VIOLENCE

'The Wacky Queen': 'In The Park' ­ unknown artist. 'Wrestling Epilogue': Handel's 'Oboe Concerto No.3 in G Minor' ­ Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields (LP: 'Concertos for Oboe and Strings', Argo RG 442, 1965). 'The Mouse Problem': Rachmaninov's 'Symphony No.1 in D Minor Op.13 ­ IV: Allegro' - Leningrad Philharmonic Orchestra (LP: 'Symphony No.1 in D Minor Op.13', Artio MK 1525, 1961).

1/3: HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT TYPES OF TREE FROM QUITE A LONG WAY AWAY

'Bicycle Repair Man': 'March of the Insurgents' - Jack Shaindlin (APM Music). 'Storytime': 'Holiday Playtime' ­ Cedric King Palmer (LP: 'Light Atmospheres', KPM 1245, 1980/CD: 'Music For TV Dinners', Scamp SCP 9721-2, 1997). 'Purchase-A-Past': 'Lover' (LP: 'Richard Rodgers Waltzes, Philips BO7146L/BBL 7092), 'Galop Infernal' - London Philharmonic Orchestra (LP: 'Famous Offenbach Overtures', Decca LW 5027, 1964). 'Seduced Milkman': 'Charmaine' - Mantovani & His Orchestra (LP: 'Mantovani's Golden Hits', Decca SKL 4818, 1966). Unidentified: 'Music Boxes 1-6' (percussion piece?) - Eddie Warner (78: BBC Gramophone Library 31963).

-- 'Inspector Dim's Song' takes its tune and basic lyrics from an old Guides/Scouts jamboree song, variously published as 'If I Were Not Before The Stage' (ASCAP) or 'Something Else I'd Like To Be' (PRS) and written by Thomas Sutton, Stan Bowsher and William Phillips and copyrighted in 1947. The PRS database credits Cleese/Chapman for this version. Bill McGuffie (1927 ­ 1987) plays piano offscreen for this version. Paul McCartney sang a brief snatch of this tune ('If I were not before the stageŠ') on 'Tripping The Light Fantastic' just prior to beginning 'Hey Jude'.

1/4: OWL-STRETCHING TIME

'Changing on the Beach': 'Colonel Bogey', 'I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside' ­ Reg Dixon (LP: 'Beside The Seaside', Columbia SX6 324, 1969); 'The Stripper' ­ David Rose (45: MGM 13064, 1962). Unidentified: 18 seconds of 'Eveil A L'Aube' (Nimrod-esque piece?) by Eduoard Michel (CD: 'Monty Python's Flying Circus', DWCR003, 2008).

Unidentified pieces shows 1-4:

'Carousel Waltz' ­ Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra of New York (LP: 'Richard Rodgers', Columbia CL810, 1956).

'Park Avenue Waltz' (Chaplin). Cello.

Hallelujah Chorus' (Handel's Messiah). Indian Music (trad).

1/5: MAN'S CRISIS OF IDENTITY IN THE LATTER HALF OF THE CENTURY

'Confuse-A-Cat': 'Action Stations' - David Lindup (LP: 'Impact & Action', KPM 1017, 1967); 'Confuse-A-Cat' - Tony Taylor (specially recorded percussion piece, not stock music). Newsreader Arrested/Erotic Film: 'Drum Majorette (Match Of The Day)' - Queen's Hall Light Orchestra (78: Chappell C643/CD: 'Queen's Hall Light Orchestra Vol.4' Vocalion CDLK4274, 2004); 'Song Of The Surf' - Queen's Hall Light Orchestra (78: Chappell C340). 'Charles Fatless': 'Hawaiian Beach' - Peter Dennis (APM Music, CD: 'Classic Film & TV 4', KPM/Bruton BRO21).

1/6: THE BBC ENTRY FOR THE ZINC STOAT OF BUDAPEST (CURRENT AFFAIRS)

Arthur Figgis: Elgar's 'Enigma Variations' - London Philharmonic Orchestra (LP: 'Enigma Variations', Classics For Pleasure CFP 40022, 1962). 'It's The Arts'/'David's Figleaf': Chopin's 'Etude In F Minor' - Tamas Vasary (LP: 'Etudes Op.10/Op.20', Deutsche Grammophon DG136454, 1965). 'The Dull Life of a City Stockbroker': 'Knightsbridge March' - Eric Coates and Orchestra (78: Columbia DX470, 1930s/CD: 'The Great British Experience' EMI CDGB50, 1997); 'March of the Insurgents' ­ Jack Shaindlin (APM Music). 'Young Lochinvar': 'Bonny Sweet Robin' (trad). 'Non-illegal heist': 'From Russia With Love' - John Barry & Orchestra (LP: 'From Russia With Love', United Artists SULP 1052, 1963). 'Red Indian in Theatre': 'Vitality' - Cicely Courtneidge (78: 'Gay's The Word (Original London Cast)', Columbia DB2806, 1950/CD: Bayview CS001, 2004). '20th Century Frog': 'Spectacular' by Jack Shaindlin (APM Music).

1/7: YOU'RE NO FUN ANYMORE

'Sci-Fi Sketch': 'Margins of the Mind' ­ Peter Reno, 'Industrie Spatiale' - Robert Hermel, 'Espace Chromatique' - Claude Vasori (LP: 'Lunar Probe', DWLP 3030, 1967). 'Paranormal (Plan 9 From Outer Space)' ­ Wolf Droysen, 1958 (CD: 'Night at the B Movies', JW Media JW2072, 1994). 'Mexican Green' - The Tubby Hayes Quartet (LP: 'Mexican Green', Fontana SFJL 911, 1968). 'By Candlelight' - Robert Farnon & Orchestra (LP: 'Two Cigarettes In The Dark', Decca LK 4086, 1955). 'Hornpipe Selection', 'The Glasgow Highlanders', 'Eightsome Reel' - Jimmy Shand's Band (LP: 'O'er The Border', PMC 1069, 1958). 'Stars & Stripes Forever' by Grenadier Guards Band (Decca, 1958) recieves a PRS credit for a Gilliam animation that was cut from broadcast.

1/8: EPISODE 12B: FULL FRONTAL NUDITY

'Unoccupied Britain, 1970': 'The Beer Barrel Polka' ­ Band of H.M. Scots Guards (LP: 'The Music of Two World Wars', Fontana TL 5241, 1965). 'Full Frontal Nudity': 'Startime' ­ Peter Race & His Orchestra (LP: 'Dance to the TV Themes', World Record Club TP285, 1963). 'Dancing Venus': Debussy's 'La Mer' - L'Orchestre de la Suisse Romande (LP: 'Anserment Conducts Debussy', Decca SXL 6167, 1965), 'Gonna Get A Girl' - Harry Bidgood & His Broadcasters (78: Broadcast 194B, 1928). 'Hell's Grannies': 'Thunderball' - John Barry & His Orchestra (LP: 'Thunderball', United Artists UAS 5132, 1966). Unidentified: 'The Most Beautiful Girl In The World' - Mantovani & His Orchestra (LP: 'Mantovani Magic', Decca SKL 4741, 1965).

1/9: THE ANT, AN INTRODUCTION

'Llamas': 'Mexican Hat Music' (trad.). 'A Man With A Tape Recorder Up His Nose': 'La Marseillaise' ­ H.M. Grenadier Guards Band (LP: 'National Anthems of Allied Nations', Columbia DB2170-3, 1945). 'The Bletchley Refreshment Rooms': 'I Love You Samantha' - the Dudley Moore Trio (LP: 'Genuine Dud', Decca LK 4788, 1966). 'Brian Islam & Brucie': 'Banjerino' - The Dixieland Jug Blowers (LP: 'Jugs, Washboards & Kazoos', RCA Victor RD 7893, 1967). 'Twits Go Hunting': 'Waltzing Trumpets' - Harry Mortimer and the Fairey Aviation Band (LP: 'Brilliant Brass', HMV CSD 3645, 1968). 'The Visitors': 'Ad Lib' - Peter Reno (CD: 'Monty Python's Flying Circus', DWCR003, 2008); Sousa's 'Washington Post March' - Grenadier Guards Band (LP: 'Sousa Marches', Decca PFS 4134, 1968).

8-10 unidentified:

Handel's 'Dead March' by Irish Guards Band (78: HMV 7P304, 1956). 'Fanfare on the RAF Call' - Royal Air Force Central Band (LP: 'Per Ardua Ad Astra', HMV CSD 3645). 'True to the End' (?).

1/10: IT'S A TREE

'It's A Tree': 'By George It's The David Frost Theme', the intro to 'The Frost Programme' (Rediffusion, 1967) and 'Frost On Saturday' (LWT, 1968). 'Strangers In The Night': 'Creepy Clowns' - Ronald Hanmer (CD: 'Circus & Slapstick', JW Media JW2145).

Unidentified: 'The Dambusters March' - Royal Air Force Central Band (LP: 'Per Ardua Ad Astra', HMV CSD 3647, 1968). 'Victory At Sea' - Rodney Russell Bennett (LP: 'Victory At Sea', Pye Golden Guinea GGL0073, 1961).

1/11: THE ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA GOES TO THE BATHROOM

'The Royal Philharmonic Goes To The Bathroom': 'Piano Concerto No.1 in B Flat Minor Op.23' - London Symphony Orchestra (LP: 'Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No.1/Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No.2', Decca Eclipse ECS 510, 1969). 'Acme Toilets': 'Chant De L'Universe' by Edouard Michel (LP: 'Seven Symphonic Preludes', DeWolfe DWLP 3059, 1967). 'Undertakers': Handel's 'Dead March' - Irish Guards Band (78: HMV 7P304, 1956); 'Oh, Didn't He Ramble' - Terry Lightfoot's New Orleans Jazzmen (LP: 'Trad Parade', Columbia SS3X 1290, 1961); 'There's No Business Like Showbusiness' - Werner Muller & His Orchestra (LP: 'Werner Muller on Broadway', Decca PFS 44047, 1964). 'The World of History': 'Full Brass Fanfare' - Spencer Nakin (LP: 'Towers & Spires', DeWolfe DWLP 3096, 1968). 'Interesting People': 'I'm Gonna Make You Love Me' - Peter Nero (LP: 'I've Gotta Be Me', CBS 63589, 1968). '18th Century Social Legislation': 'Night Train', 'The Stripper' (45: David Rose & Orchestra: MGM 13064, 1962); 'Hallelujah Chorus' - London Philharmonic Orchestra (EP: The Best of Golden Guinea, Pye 7NGG, 1959). '10 Second Strip Tease': 'Batterie Pour Une Foute (Drum Solo)' ­ Henri Renaud & Robert Hermel (LP: 'Jazz Mobile' MPI LP 506, 1967; CD: 'Jazz Phase One', DWCD 0175).

1/12: THE NAKED ANT

'Spectrum': 'Prelude to Richard III' - National Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by William Walton (LP: 'Richard III: Highlights from the Original Soundtrack ', RCA Victor LM-1940, 1955). 'The North Minehead By-Election': 'Deutschland Uber Alles' by Grenadier Guards Band (LP: 'National Anthems of the World', Decca SKL 4017, 1958). 'Ken Shabby': 'The Rose Selection' ­ Band of the Grenadier Guards (LP: 'Holiday In England', Decca 4181, 1964).

1/13: INTERMISSION

Pre-titles: 'Funeral March' (London Brass: 'Baroque Brass Fanfares and Sonatas', Nonesuch H71145, 1967). 'Intermission': 'Theme From A Summer Place' - Percy Heath And Orchestra (45: Philips PB989, 1959). 'Pearls Before Swine': 'Mother & Baby' ­ Jack Shaindlin (LP: 'TV & Radio Commercials', Brull CMR 316A). 'La Gondola Restaurant': 'Return To Summer' - Reg Tilsley ('Tilsley Orchestral No.3: Strings & Things', DeWolfe DWLP 3099, 1970/CD: 'Cliché Favourites 1', De Wolfe HRCB 16). 'Trooping the colour': 'God Save The Queen' by The Grenadier Guards Band (45: Decca F10084, 1955). 'Fairy Police': 'Devil's Galop' by Charles Williams Orchestra (78: Chappell Recorded Music Library, 1946/CD: 'The Great British Experience' EMI CDGB50, 1997). 'Historical Impersonations': 'On The Button' - Keith Papworth (LP: 'On The Button', DeWolfe DWLP 3097, 1968), 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' ­ Petula Clark (45: Pye 7N 17325, 1967). 'Auditory Hallucinations': 'Going To The Zoo' ­ Julie Felix (LP: 'The Third Album', Decca LK 4820, 1966). 'Surgeon': 'Dr. Kildare Theme' - Johnnie Spence & His Orchestra (45: Parlophone R4872, 1962).

Unidentified music: 'The Lump' (Reg Tilsley), 'Venus' (Peter Reno), 'Happy Harp' and 'Sweet and Swinging' (both Mozart Editions), 'Bossa Nova Baby' (LP: 'TV & Radio Commercials', Brull CMR 316A).

11-13 randoms:

'Cloister' (slow movement) by Stanley Nakin ('Towers & Spires', De Wolfe DWLP 3096, 1968), Rachmaninov's 'Symphony No.1 in D Minor Op.13' ­ Yevgeny Svetlanov (LP: 'Soviet Symphonies', HMV/Melodyia ASD 2471, 1969, CD: Regis RRC1427). (SERIOUS, INTENSE, EPIC MUSIC) 'Music Boxes' again. 'Bossa Nova Beat' by Shaindlin.




Back to the Flying Circus


With my best gal by my side...

To find out more about the barbering profession don't bother writing me at