The "The Wacky Queen" skit from MPFC:  Series One, Show Two
                  (C) 1989 by Python Productions Ltd.

[Queen Victorian Film:  the texture of the film reproduces as accurately 
     as possible an animated Victorian photograph.  Queen Victoria (Terry J) 
     and Gladstone (Graham) are walking on the lawn in front of Osborne.]

Voice Over (John): These historic pictures of Queen Victoria, taken in 
     1880 at Osborne show the Queen with Gladstone.  This unique film 
     provides a rare glimpse into the private world of a woman who ruled 
     half the earth.  The commentary, recorded on the earliest wax 
     cylinders, is spoken by Alfred Lord Tennyson, the Poet Laureate.  
     [Michael continues with jolly American accent]  Well hello, it's 
     the wacky Queen again!  [The Queen repeatedly nudges Gladstone in 
     the ribs and chucks him under the chin]  And who's the other 
     fella?  It's Willie Gladstone!  And when these two way-out wacky 
     characters get together there's fun a-plenty.  [They come up to a 
     gerdener with a hosepipe]  And, uh-oh!  There's a hosepipe!  This 
     means trouble for somebody!  [The Queen takes the hose and kicks the 
     gardener; he falls over]  Uh-oh, Charlie Gardener's fallen for that old 
     trick.  The Queen has put him in a heap of trouble!  [The Queen turns 
     the hose on Gladstone]  Uh-oh that's one in the eye for Willie!  
     [The Queen hands Gladstone the hose]  Here, you have a go!  [She 
     goes back to the tap and turns off the water]  Well, doggone it, 
     where's the water?  [Gladstone examines the end of the hose; the 
     water flow returns, spraying him]  Uh-oh, there it is, all over his 
     face!  [She lifts her skirts and runs as he chases her across the 
     lawn; next we see the Queen painting a fence; Gladstone approaches 
     from the other side]  Well, hello, what's Britain's wacky Queen up 
     to now?  Well, she's certainly not sitting on the fence.  She's 
     painting it.  Surely nothing can go wrong here?  Uh-oh, here's the 
     PM coming back for more.  [Gladstone walks into line with the end 
     of the fence; the Queen daubs paint on him]  And he cartainly gets 
     it!  [He takes the bucket from her and empties it over her head; 
     she kicks him; he falls through the fence]  Well, that's one way to 
     get the housework done!

[Cut to the Queen and Gladstone having tea on the lawn.  She pushes a 
     custard pie into his face.]