The Ferret Song

Music: "Rose of England"
Lyrics: John Cleese / Graham Chapman

[Start music.  Throughout the song, lines sung by the chorus are
denoted by parenthesis.  Chorus is comprised of David Hatch, Tim
Brooke-Taylor, Jo Kendall and Bill Oddie.]

John Cleese (sings):
	I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
	(He's got a ferret sticking up his nose.)
	How it got there I can't tell
	But now it's there it hurts like hell
	And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell.
	(His sense of smell.)

	I can see a bare-bottomed mandril.
	(Slily eyeing his other nostril.)
	If he jumps inside there too
	I really won't know what to do
	I shall be the proud posessor of a kind of nasal zoo.
	(A nasal zoo.)

	I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
	(And what is worst it constantly explodes.)
	"Ferrets don't explode," you say
	But it happened nine times yesterday
	And I should know for each time I was standing in the way.

	EVERYBODY (VERY LOUDLY):

	I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
	(I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.)
	How it got there I can't tell
	But now it's there it hurts like hell
	And what is more it radically affectss Myyyy senssse of smmellllll!