The Fabulous RWT Epguide

THE FABULOUS RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION EPISODE GUIDE

VERSION 4

By Garrett Gilchrist [gilchristgarrett at gmail . com]

With contributions from Laurie Stevens, Bonnie Rose, and Greg Duffell

Special thanks to Tom Strickland, Matthew K. Sharp, Roger Rettig, Alley Ernst, Barb Shapiro, rutlemania.org, Kim "Howard" Johnson, Dave Haber, Robert Ross, Yoichi Yamazaki and all the rest, and to Eric, Neil and all the RWT cast (for making our weekends just that much more special)

When "Rutland Weekend Television," a comedy program written by Eric Idle and featuring the music of Neil Innes, first premiered one monday (logically enough) in 1975, no one could possibly have expected the massive, amazing effect it would have on the comedy world for years to come. That is, absolutely none. It had pretty much no effect on the comedy world in any way.

Despite Idle's smash-hit success with Monty Python and Innes' cult status with the Bonzo Dog (Doo-Dah) Band, and despite the quality of the low-budget show, it got very little notice and after two seasons in Britain, a soundtrack album and a tie-in book (neither of which sold well), RWT disappeared into obscurity, to appear only as a footnote in books about Monty Python.
This is sad, as the show (despite miniscule budgets and little rehearsal time) brought out the best in both Idle and Innes. Idle's rambling, nonsensical writing style had served Python well and proved a good, funny way to fill up the shows of RWT. Innes' musical numbers did not stop the show (as on, say, Saturday Night Live) but instead fit with its character and enhanced it, providing laughs as well as beginnings and ends to countless sketches. And a talented supporting cast including David Battley and Henry Woolf brought this delightful, silly little show to life.

The episodes of RWT (fourteen of them plus one 1993 clipshow, more than Fawlty Towers) are not available on commercial video. More than one reliable source has cited legal problems. The only bit of RWT you can buy at a store today wound up there by accident. When Eric Idle first hosted Saturday Night Live, he brought along a short clip from the second season featuring Rutland's own Fab Four, the Rutles. Neil, as Nasty, sings "I Must Be in Love," and Eric, as a reporter, introduces the Rutles story, until the camera runs away. This is available on the Saturday Night Live video "Eric Idle - Volume One." No credit was given to Neil, David Battley or John Halsey (who all appeared in the sketch), nor was Rutland Weekend Television mentioned, but viewers everywhere loved the Rutles! Response was so great that the Rutles story was financed by Lorne Michaels to become the tv movie "All You Need is Cash." (available on video, of course. hope you already have this.)

The Rutles were a hit, and much has been said and written about them. But this Rutlemania did not help Rutland Weekend Television, and in this age of endless reruns of Monty Python's Flying Circus, Fawlty Towers -- even Michael Palin and Terry Jones' "Ripping Yarns" -- Eric's most memorable solo flight has crashed and been forgotten.
With this guide I hope to help end a bit of that. If you can provide any further information, and corrections you can email me at gilchristgarrett at gmail.com.
Enough chat. On with the guide.

THE FIRST SERIES (1975)

Six episodes, plus a Christmas special, were produced for RWT's first season. I've been able to view all but that Christmas special.

RWT's plot is hard to pin down but such as it is it's about a very small television station. Rutland, at least as of this writing, is a real place, the smallest county in England. Inspired by "London Weekend Television" Idle set his show, which was to have a disgustingly small budget (his backer was used to backing cheapo interview programs), there. (Rutland was -- is -- so small in fact that a while back it was absorbed completely by an adjoining county, and after residents protested it was eventually upgraded to independent. Rutland is a very proud place, and there is a nice town in Vermont named after it -- if you're ever there do stop by the Rutland Ponderosa.) The show has a real problem with its hosts, or "emcees" as I'll call them to lessen confusion, and seems to get a new one every episode. The station shows a baffling array of documentaries, interview programs, songs, sketches, and other nonsense,

all in an endearingly daffy comedic style. The first series opening titles are animated and feature fancy title graphics which crack and turn into a field, which an cartoon farmer plows before stumbling and flying off. The theme music, since you asked, combines parodies of Also Spake Zarathrusta (aka the theme from "2001"), the London Weekend Television theme (sorta), and, mostly now, a bouncy little fake-french tune by Neil Innes. It is called "L'amour Perdu (Lost Love)" and the lyrics, sung by Neil at the end of show 6, go as follows:

L'amour perdu to circumstances
Et tout le monde et Tuesday too
Avec le raison d'ģtre-mental
Cynical comment allez-vous
"Ello Sailor" mģme choses you love me
Et je t'adore et windows too
Regardez-moi poor heart is aching
Toujours l'amour et merci beacoup

Here are summaries of the six known episodes from the seven-episode first series. The titles are our own. The missing episodes are filled in with some brief and rather confusing information taken from a "Laugh" Magazine article by Matthew K. Sharp (reprinted almost verbatim in Robert Ross' "Monty Python Encyclopedia"), plus some short clips from a 1993 clipshow -- more on this later.

RWT101: "RUTLAND WEEKEND GIBBERISH"
EMCEE: Eric Idle
FIRST AIRED ON BBC2: 12 May, 1975
***********************************

Opening titles. As you can imagine, Eric Idle plays the emcee on his own first episode. After all, as you can imagine, he's earned the right. And his aged, confused, chuckling, champagne-seeking emcee gets things off to a creepy, nonsensical start, as you can imagine. But then there's "Gibberish," which is as meaningless as it is entertaining. Idle and the disgusting but loveable Henry Woolf feature. The emcee's champagne reappears and overflows all over him. We hear Neil Innes, though we don't hear him yet, singing "He's the Star of the Sexy Movies," about an unassuming-looking Rutlander with an apparently very interesting night life. The host cleans off his wet sleeve, and as we've been hearing a party behind him in the background this whole time he tries to take us to it, but the film has caught fire. He quietly panics, then takes us to a funny bit where a condemned man [Idle] plays a last game of chess with two unhelpful jail wardens [Woolf and David Battley]. He escapes underneath a priest, and the wardens give chase -- Warden Peel [Battley] misses his luncheon appointment. Following is a lecture [from Idle, who does most of the narrator bits] about others who've dared to explore the catacombs of clergymen, and about Raymond Diet [Idle], an odd little man first seen rescuing Neil [minus his usual hairpieces] from underneath a Prevendary. He then tries to save fish from drowning,

forms various silly societies, and introduces a Neil Innes song. "Stoop Solo" [Innes], a potbellied, repulsive Gary Glitter lookalike with the body of an aging gorilla, sings his song to no one in particular. We return to the emcee, and the lights go out. The partgoers boo. Following is a documentary on Bert Figgis [Innes], who is still fighting World War II. Others of his admittedly rather stupid regiment are discussed, a policeman [Idle] discusses carpets, and we learn how Figgis' regiment mostly gave up and surrendered to whoever was around, including five to Bob Dylan. A young soldier in Germany [Battley] tries to explain to an old one that the war is over, unsuccessfully, and the old, dumb as a post soldier is used as a minesweeper. (Four explosions there, not bad for RWT.)

Previews roll for the 80th anniversary of the birth of Winston Churchill's cat, along with other Churchill-related material, including a little Churchill who dances to a short bit of Neil's tune "Frontloader." The host laughs like an idiot, and the roof caves in. End credits. A voiceover closes down RWT.

REVIEW NOTES: Running at a slow but entertaining pace, the premiere episode is fairly typical of RWT, and quite good. It also shows effectively how the fictional station operates, that is to say not very well. However, it fails to build to a real climax, and for that we must mark it down. The songs are also used ineffectively, and the episode would have benefited from a more open use of "Frontloader." (A proper video for which appears in episode 5.)

Written by ERIC IDLE
Music and Songs by NEIL INNES
with DAVID BATTLEY, TIMOTHY CARLTON, PETER GLIDEWELL, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, HENRY WOOLF and the Rutlandettes

DELETED SCENE NOTES: When this first RWT episode was aired on the British satellite channel "UK Arena" in 1999, six minutes were clipped from it in order to accomodate commercials, deleting the "Stoop Solo" song, the Churchill preview, and all of Eric Idle's host sequences. (The station would air all six original RWT episodes in the same edited form, though only episodes 1 and 2 came out obviously butchered. Fans call them the "Cutland Weekends," or "Cutleys.") However, the edited version contains footage not seen in the original BBC2 airing. Eric Idle's host is replaced with an unknown, rather fruity fellow in a bowtie, who gives us a very warm welcome "from the heart of my bottom" and whose tie is seen to grow as the show progresses. This may actually have been a rejected alternate host sequence for this show, as the same host's voice is heard at the very end of the BBC2 Eric Idle version, closing down RWT. He is the same fellow who plays the priest and is probably named Timothy Carlton. In addition, the "Bert Figgis, Last of the Rutland Fusiliers" sketch is slightly expanded. David Battley's "Military Historian and Gynecologist" examines a patient (behind a curtain), and the "anti-Japanese propaganda" shouted by the Rutlanders ("Jap-uh-neez! Pfft! Pull 'Arbor!") includes a reference to Emperor Hirohito. Probably the version aired by UK Arena is based on an earlier rough cut, which was later reedited when Eric wanted to play the host himself.

OTHER NOTES: Idle's host seems to be a parody of venerable Brit announcer David Hamilton, but that doesn't seem too bad as Hamilton did have something of a sense of humour -- he appeared on one episode of Python (if you recall). David Battley has had an odd career -- he did play the teacher in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Woolf is today a theater director for the Shakespeare festival in Saskatchewan, Canada -- he often lectures to schoolchildren. He appears in, among other things, the Rutles movie, "Gorky Park" and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," and made guest appearances in "Doctor Who" and "The Chronicles of Narnia." The credit for the "Rutlandettes" seems to be a joke. RWT would get a very small chorus girl team together for the first Christmas special, though. The lyrics to "Star of the Sexy Movies" were penned - anonymously - by Eric Idle. The "Star" himself is an odd middle-aged fellow who appears in the second RWT also, as well as in several episodes of Neil Innes' "Innes Book of Records" show, including an appearance as Mr. Spock in "Happy Ending." He is probably named Peter Glidewell.

RWT102: "RUTLAND WEEKEND KUNG-FU"
EMCEE: HENRY WOOLF
FIRST AIRED: 19 May 1975
*********************************

Opening titles. The new emcee [Henry Woolf], in a strange floral shirt, starts us off with "Gardening Time" -- actually it's "Come Dancing," with Eric as the word-emitting, word-omitting host. Neil can be seen as

some sort of princess. (Note: In this episode whenever the emcee announces a program an entirely different program plays. It's comedy, deal with it.) Eric delivers rambling, silly commentary on the unseen dancers, including the lovely, nude Maureen. A fake Groucho Marx [Innes], in a very fake painted jungle, sings "Say Sorry Again," accompanied by Chico [Innes] on the piano and Harpo [Innes again!] on the unicycle. The emcee returns, and seems to be mutating. "Philosophy Corner," hosted by Idle, discusses Kung-Fucius, the aggressive philosopher, and Ray Laycock [David Battley], expounds on the philosophy of the rich. Along with Eric he attempts to sell a poor man [Innes] some very expensive philosophy (some of this seems to be adapted from material cut from Monty Python's Flying Circus series 2, show 11, "How Not to Be Seen"), but are foiled as he has already sold his body to a department store. Medical professionals get angry. I won't discuss it but it's in nicely bad taste until a cop [Battley] pushes Idle off his set, saying "You can't act here! This is a fire lane!" He goes to another set and helps a moron [Battley] upgrade his status to cretin, until he's stopped by another fire-safe policeman [Woolf]. Back to the emcee, who has developed breasts and now sports a pink blouse and earrings. "Talk About, with Russell Dean" [Idle]

features Keith Trapp [Innes], an apparently exceedingly witty man who can't come up with anything to say, and leaves to use the restroom. Sally [Gwen Taylor] demonstrates origami by folding a Japanese person. Rex [Woolf] impersonates an encephalograph. Then it's "Cookery Time," with your host, Lenin [Battley]. Karl Marx [Woolf] makes pudding. Josef Stalin [Idle] prepares a dozen eggs, then shoots them, along with most of the kitchen, and they all sing about "Communist Cooking." The emcee puts his feet up, to introduce the art of aggressive eating, "Kung Suey," and when that's done he's wearing a dress, and introduces a musical, "The Kung and I," and when that's done his shaved legs are showing, as are his underwhatevers. A documentary follows the sad case of Arthur Jones - er, Sutcliffe [Battley] - born to be normal. The newsman [Innes] can't blame his looney parents [Idle and Woolf] so he blames a little liquor-shop owner [Woolf]

instead. The little man from the off-license is put on trial for all the crimes of humanity and is promptly hanged, for a happy ending. A very bad mimer [Innes] sings the lovely, pessimistic "Lie Down and Be Counted," though with a set change his miming abilities vastly improve. Back to dancing -- "Kung Dancing" -- and more Maureen, until the policeman [Battley] kicks them all out -- it's a fire lane! Once everyone's safely off the set, he begins to juggle. Roll end credits. The emcee, now a full female with hair, closes down RWT.

UK ARENA NOTES: The 24-minute version shown on Britain's UK Arena omits the song "Say Sorry Again," "The Kung and I," some Henry Woolf links and the show's best sketch, "Communist Cooking." It is a butchery.

REVIEW NOTES: Some weak bits, especially toward the beginning, but the last ten minutes or so is pure gold. Lots of connections to Idle's "World Forum" sketch in Python. I'm surprised they didn't credit all the Japanese extras. This episode was entered into the viewable archives at the Museum of Television and Radio in New York City.

with DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GWEN TAYLOR and HENRY WOOLF

OTHER NOTES: David Battley is actually a pretty good juggler. The communist team is depicted fairly accurately, with the exception of Marx, who had a less fake-looking beard (hee hee) and was more of a reasonable man. Gwen Taylor was born Gwendoline Allsop in Derby, England, and appeared in the Rutles movie as well as Python's Life of Brian and the Terry Jones/Mike Palin series Ripping Yarns (episode "Golden Gordon"). This version of "Lie Down and Be Counted" appears on Neil's album "Re-cycled Vinyl Blues." The song was also done on the Innes Book of Records, in country-western form - Neil plays a politician for the Apathy Party. Then again, so was "Say Sorry Again," a black-and-white remake with a better budget, still done as a Marx brothers tribute.

RWT103: "RUTLAND WEEKEND WARNING SYSTEM"
EMCEE: ANDY ROBERTS
FIRST AIRED: 26 May, 1975
****************************************

Opening titles. Yet another emcee [Andy Roberts], in conjunction with an unnamed old lady [Eric Idle's mother, who bears a resemblance to British TV watchdog Mary Whitehouse], introduces a system of graphical warnings to point out

offensive material before it airs. This includes bad language, sex, violence, religion, violent religion, nudity, football, nude football -- it goes on like this. You think this summary job is easy?? Then "Schizophrenia," with your hosts [Idle and Idle]. They attempt to talk to a paranoid [Battley], but he storms off the set, and then their next guest, a man who is habitually late, fails to show up. They try to pass the time with a bit of film shot in Bognor, but that is unsuccessful - the film is rather short - and it's a very awkward moment. Out of nowhere, Ron Lennon [Innes] appears, and sings a song beginning with the words "See how the good times roll ... away." (Later expanded as a Rutles track.) That's rather short too. Lennon fades away, and the hosts grab his piano, which was apparently very tiny (?!), and toss it on the table. A documentary rolls [hosted by Idle] about Cramp Bottom, the unpleasant home of poet Mungo Wright,

who never actually wrote a poem but was considering it for a while. The "Schizophrenia" hosts sign off, the opening titles roll again briefly, and we're warned of "Football," a song [with Idle, Innes, Battley, and Woolf]. A warning of religion -- Corporal Collier [Battley] has tried out various religions to little success and sets out to worship his commanding officer [Idle]. Other popular gods in the army and elsewhere are discussed, as is Yvonne Mitchell. The emcee introduces "Thrust," hosted by Splig Utherism [Woolf], who in a hardhitting, sexy style describes bathtub theatre, and the entire cast has a wet time of it. The bidet version of "Camelot" comes particularly to mind. Neil's pink Batman is Safe Viewing, but his song is "Boring." Less safe is a bit in which the boss [Idle] takes a liking to his employee[Battley]'s family, and attempts to buy them. Back to "Schizophrenia" - the hosts try to stall by reciting a poem, then run off the set, very fast. The emcee, before closing down RWT, turns to Eric, who explains in weather terms the forecast for tomorrow's television -- looks like more sex, violence and football. Roll end credits. Tony Bilbow has the final word after the show, and you think the show's over, that this is serious, until you see he's in a bath, interviewing the same nameless old lady from the beginning ...

UK ARENA NOTES: The UK Arena showing omits the song "Football" and some Andy Roberts links, and shortens the final interview.

REVIEW NOTES: The end interview bit really faked me out. Python did this kind of thing a lot but it was always obvious. Here you don't know what the hell you're watching half the time. Kudos must be given for that. As for the actual show it's a mixed bag. There are many great moments (the opening bit of "Schizophrenia," the Army Religion sketch, Ron Lennon, Idle's bossman, and "Football"), but just as many misfires. Andy Roberts as an emcee makes absolutely no impact. He's just kind of there. Odd. "Thrust" was already used in the Proust episode of Python, but to think up a name like "Splig Utherism" shows Eric was still running at full-tilt here.

with LYN ASHLEY, DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, ANDY ROBERTS, WANDA VENTHAM, HENRY WOOLF

OTHER NOTES: Eric's then-wife, Lyn Ashley, who appears here, was credited simply as "Mrs. Idle" in her Python appearances. Not to be confused with Eric's mother, who also appears here. Andy Roberts, our emcee, is actually a talented studio musician who plays on several tracks here (well, he's credited on the Rutland Weekend Songbook anyway). He also played with Neil on both GRIMMS albums and the later cuts of the Bonzo Dog (Doo-Dah) Band. ("Let's Make Up and Be Friendly" etc.) He still works in television and theatre and has released some albums of his own. Tony Bilbow is a real BBC2 host who worked in the same studio as RWT. He has an entire episode of RWT to himself in the second series [more on this later].

RWT104: "RUTLAND WEEKEND WHISTLE TEST"
WHISTLETEST EMCEE: BOB HARRIS [ERIC IDLE]
RWT EMCEE: BRIDGET ARMSTONG
FIRST AIRED: 2 June, 1975
******************************************

Opening titles roll, but are quickly interrupted by titles for "The Old Gay Whistle Test" (parody of "The Old Grey Whistle Test," Bob Harris' late-60s-early-70s rock-music review program). A cockeyed Bob Harris is played here by Eric Idle, who speaks in a perpetually-stoned gee-whizper. Wow. He previews the trends and introduces the studio group, "Toad the Wet Sprocket." (Back then Eric wrote that name to be so ridiculous no band would use it! Ha!) They resemble Fleetwood Mac and don't move a lot. Eventually they stop, and Bob turns to Mantra Robinson [Battley], a rocker whose chief interests include lengthy album titles and the destruction of private and public property. He's dropped his bass violinist down a lift-shaft, and while only five people came to his last tour the band manages to do over seven million dollars worth of damage -- not a bad gig. Also aboard is his guru, Siggy [Woolf], who isn't Indian but works in an Indian restaurant, and gets deep spiritual insights from his landlady,

Mrs. Fletcher, then sells them. An awkward silence takes us to the Gerard's Cross Pop Festival, with Splint, on the Abbatoir label, and their song "Bandwagon." (You might be distracted by the comedically creepy fashions but dig the lyrics - they're a clever music-biz parody. The entire song can be heard on Neil's album "Re-Cycled Vinyl Blues.") Then Stan Fitch [Andy Roberts], the first all-dead singer, performs a smashing number from his album "Even Further Beyond the Grave." He doesn't really sing or strum the guitar or move or anything, but there are groovy video effects. Bob digs it. A bit more of the opening titles roll -- it's back to RWT, yay! (or bleah - that Whistle Test bit was really very funny, sad to see it go) Our latest emcee [Bridget Armstrong] is on the standard set, with the standard complement of flowers. The rest of the titles finally roll, the emcee returns, and the small flowerbasket is now a large one. "Rutland Weekend Theatre" features a couple [Battley, Armstrong] who are madly in love, but who have forgotten their own names. Their son [Woolf], Virginia's lover

[Idle], and Henry's friend [Innes] aren't much help either. Eric introduces "Amnesia," but keeps forgetting what he's supposed to be talking about. The end credits make it clear that it's spreading, and the emcee forgets too as sits among even more flowers. A documentary rolls - Farmer Ron Granger [Idle] grows, trains, and fattens prize beauty queens, feeding them hay and old copies of "Vogue," until they're taken off to be judged, slaughtered, and eaten. A nasty old beauty show host [Idle] asks a cow if she thinks she's being exploited, with various rude remarks, and other show-biz people [including Neil] are killed and shipped off to the butchers. (Geez, could you get ANY more distasteful, Eric? Lol.) The emcee, with flowers, introduces "A Penny for Your Warts," a medical quiz show. There are only two onscreen casualties, so by this episode's standards it's a mild one. The emcee, now completely surrounded by flowers, introduces the Fabulous Bingo Brothers [Zoot Money and John Halsey],

a pair of low-key, black-and-white raincoated mongoloids in a lavatory who mumble out a song about a donkey. Then -- this is the odd part -- Bob Harris, the REAL Bob Harris shows up, and introduces as a closer Neil, in cap and shades and singing his old staple, the Protest Song (parental control lyrics version). He gives a peace sign and exits awkwardly. The emcee, with (goddamn it!) even MORE flowers, closes down RWT. Roll end credits.

UK ARENA NOTES: The UK Arena showing omits the opening titles and some Barbara Armstrong links, as well as "Rutland Weekend Theatre," the only funny bit of the Amnesia sketch. A short Henry Woolf link identifying Neil's slain singer as "P.B. Sutton" is also snipped.

REVIEW NOTES: On the strength of "Whistle Test" alone this becomes a favorite episode. The bizarre, uncanny accuracy of this lengthy, pure fakeout parody puts it right up there. When RWT actually begins officially it seems to want to do so only by gunpoint. Wonder who was holding the gun? No matter. "Amnesia" is funny, and the Bingo Brothers are odd enough to win some sort of following. The bit about the show-biz butchers is long and completely distasteful, and would have been censored on Python. Clearly no one was watching here so if you're into that sort of thing ...

with BRIDGET ARMSTRONG, DAVID BATTLEY, BOB HARRIS, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, ANDY ROBERTS, HENRY WOOLF, and the FABULOUS BINGO BROTHERS (alias Zoot Money and John Halsey)

OTHER NOTES: Bridget Armstrong appears in the "Curse of the Claw" episode of Ripping Yarns. The Bingo Brothers were old music-biz friends of Neil's - Zoot Money was in GRIMMS and John Halsey, of course, would later be Barry Wom of the Rutles. Bob Harris, the actual host of "The Old Grey Whistle Test," appears in Eric's parody. He, like Tony Bilbow, worked in the same studio as RWT. To return the favor, Neil Innes appeared on an episode of the real "Whistle Test," performing "Randy Raquel" with the life-size female doll seen in the RWT season 2 song "The Hard to Get." (More on season 2 later.) The Protest song is here sung by "Ray Onassis," if you believe Robert Ross, but the character is usually called "Bob Nylon" or "Raymond Scum," after Eric's intro in "Python Live! at City Center." Our favorite versions of this oft-performed oddie are on the Innes Book of Records show and the Rutland Weekend Songbook. For you conspiracy buffs: The Protest Song was cut from Python Series 4, Show 5, "Mr. Neutron," written largely by Michael Palin and Terry Jones, and whether it's a coincidence or not Neil's performance here reminds this author of that, and a "Michael Palin (no relation)" is credited at the end of this episode. Could just be coincidence. And it could also be coincidence that when Innes performed the Protest Song on the 3rd-series Innes Book of Records episode "Don't Make Me Use My Imagination," Palin made a guest appearance. Then again ...

RWT105: "RUTLAND WEEKEND RAIN IN HENDON"
EMCEES: WANDA VENTHAM AND DAVID BATTLEY
FIRST AIRED: 9 JUNE, 1975
****************************************

Opening titles roll. Our emcee [Wanda Ventham] goes on a bit about tonight's fine programming on RWT, but is continually interrupted by Frank [David Battley], who confesses his love for her, and they run away together. "Open Door Access TV" features the Solihull Wife-Swapping Contest.

Harry Rirkin [Idle] announces the pairings, but the committee keeps starting the swap early. Frank comes on with a weather flash - It is raining in Hendon. Wanda compliments him on his reading. "Rutland Weekend Documentary" looks at the harsh world out there for politicians wanting a job in television. Agent Bo Robinson [Henry Woolf] watches a desperate John [Battley] beg drunkenly, and turns him down anyway. Watkins [Idle] fares little better, until he mentions he can juggle. Jeff [Battley] has to say "Good evening," but waffles on the issue. He then convinces the director [Idle] to waffle on the issue of how bad his reading was, though it does him little good. The next applicant [Innes] is dead,

but the director likes him anyway. No further news on the rain in Hendon. The Prime Minister [Idle] is accused [by Battley] of being too Americanized; he doesn't understand a word of it and thinks he's being asked about a dead Jewish American ventriloquist named Nosher Ono. Following is "A Party Political Broadcast on Behalf of the Conservative Party," in which Neil, dressed in a top hat and a suit with tails, sings "I'm the Urban Spaceman" loudly and off-key as he bangs cymbals on his feet and fiddles with a hand-keyboard which makes accordion noises. Bit of a non-sequitur, really. In the background, a very awkward-looking girl in a red pixie dress tapdances, never sure when the song is actually supposed to end. It is still raining in Hendon. Opening titles roll again, briefly. "Your Questions Answered" comes to us from Cornwall and features an impressive panel with absolutely nothing to say,

despite much prodding. Frank gives another report on the rain in Hendon, and Wanda, curled up by his feet, introduces "Holiday '75." Eric reports that the state of the economy is so bad that many people have decided to take their vacations directly inside the Holiday '75 studio, which is then toured at length. It is still raining in Hendon, but inside the studio the weather is fine. The vacationers, now running the studio, switch to "Top of the Pops," and a music video, "Frontloader," in which a very cool fellow [Innes] confesses his love for a washing machine. In Solihull, the wife-swapping is still going on. A serious anchorman [Woolf] reports on the rain in Hendon and political reaction to same, along with a static-y report by Christopher Serpent, in Washington. Opening titles roll yet again, again briefly. Eric goes into the electrical shop for a quick purchase, but can't help noticing that the store clerk [Battley] looks quite a lot like the devil. He tries to sell the clerk his soul in exchange for 24 years of power and debauchery, but the clerk isn't interested, so he offers his car, house, and life insurance,

plus his wife's body (in advance), and the rain in Hendon stops. The next morning at breakfast, his wife is all smiles after a night with Satan. However, something seems awry, and he begins to suspect he sold his soul to Ron Badger from the electrical shop. The rain in Hendon starts again, and 'Satan' takes his customer on a dubious holdiday, complete with canned fish and Helen of Troy [Lyn Ashley]. A now-nude Frank stands up to take us live to the rain in Hendon, Wanda pulls him down again, and all goes down the drain as the credits roll. The happy couple, in voiceover, closes down RWT.

UK ARENA NOTES: The version shown on UK Arena omits "Your Questions Answered" and the Nosher Ono link. Neither is a big loss, but without that little bit of titling "Urban Spaceman" does come off less funny.

REVIEW NOTES: With the exception of the joyous electrical shop/Satan bit I can't think of a single worthwhile sketch in this entire episode. But oddly that doesn't hurt my appreciation of it much - the running gags with the amorous emcees and the all-important Hendon rain are genuinely funny stuff. Also we get two twisted, but entertaining, Neil Innes numbers. These get an A+, the sketches get a C-, and the episode overall is about a B.

with LYN ASHLEY, DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, PHILIP JENKINSON, HENRY WOOLF, WANDA VENTHAM

OTHER NOTES: The end credits give the name of the show as "Rain in Hendon" instead of RWT! The dead politician and Nosher Ono titles recall Whistletest. "Urban Spaceman" was a hit for the Bonzo Dog (Doo-Dah) Band round about 1968, produced by Apollo C. Vermouth (who under the psuedonym Paul McCartney was in another semi-important band, but no matter). This version is nothing like that. But at any rate, this semi-funny corruption of the tune inspired Neil's equally offkey performance in 1983's "Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl," although he wore his regular Neilclothes and strummed a banjo with the tapdancing help of Python glamour girl Carol Cleveland. In a somewhat less obvious way, this may also have inspired Neil's performance as a dapper, if invisible, Urban Spaceman in the Innes Book of Records episode "Don't Make Me Use My Imagination." "Frontloader" was also done on IBOR.

RWT106: "RUTLAND WEEKEND BUDGET CUTS"
EMCEE: NEIL INNES
FIRST AIRED: 16 June, 1975
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The emcee [Innes] introduces the show but can't help complaining about the lack of money. RWT is closing down tonight. "Religion Today" with Paul Yes [Battley] asks "Are people difficult bastards?" until a Really Difficult Bastard [Idle] and the Bishop of Somerset [Woolf] hijack the show. They've kidnapped tv personality Michael Aspel and want a thousand pounds, but the bishop keeps asking for more. The emcee complains about security and loses his flowers. Neil, against a backdrop of stars, sings "Singing a Song is Easy." The emcee loses his jacket, endtable and lamp. The bishop and bastard ask for more. Security sleeps. "Incident at Bromsgrove" features a long and heated discussion between a soldier [Battley] and a carrot [Idle]. In a flashback they become Admiral Nelson and Hardy. The bishop and bastard ask for more, Hardy gets lost, and Nelson asks for a kiss (he is wearing pink lacey undergarments and becomes a casualty in voiceover). "The Execution of Charles I" [Terence Bayler] begins.

The Michael Aspel fan club tries to answer the still-growing list of demands, and Charles I has severe acting problems. An impressive montage of people from this and previous shows giving the "cue" sign follows -- Eric, at a urinal, is the last -- and a small parlor band [including Woolf and Battley] plays "L'Amour Perdu," as the end credits roll. Neil, in bizarre drag (to resemble an unshaven Edith Piaf, apparently), sings "L'Amour Perdu," to recieve good marks from a panel of judges. The bishop and bastard worry about where they're going to put it all, and the RWT sign is taken away from the emcee. "Man Alive" looks at suburban prisons -- many are nice places, but Mrs. Harris has brought back hanging. At Mrs. Fletcher's, they have Johnny Cash [Innes] come and sing. Eric, in the studio, has a cast of thousands (six are seen -- hey, it's RWT!) watching the last sketch with him, but there's no time to talk to any of them. The emcee, dumped in the supply room, has lost his shirt, and quits. The bishop and bastard take it all back, then take back the taking-back, until Paul Yes wakes up just in time to close down "Religion Today." The final shot is perhaps the most enigmatic in all of RWT -- having lost everything, Eric and Neil, covered-up with borrowed towels,

sit on a bench in the supply room and deadpan a song about the final state of their budget. The lights are shut off, and there are three minutes of dead air ...

UK ARENA NOTES: The 24-minute version is an abridgement, removing "Singing a Song is Easy" (a major loss), several Neil Innes links, Security and the "cue" montage, as well as Eric's "in-this-studio-with-me" ramble and minor bits elsewhere.

REVIEW NOTES: This episode has been criticized for its somewhat obvious comedy tactics, in which every sketch goes on about three times as long as it ought, just because it can - you can almost hear the wheels in Idle's head spinning throughout much of this. Nevertheless I like it. It's a nice, clean ending to the series, and there are even hints of a nostalgic look back in the "cue" montage and elsewhere. Neil really shouldn't dress in drag, though, he'll scare the children. He certainly scared me. RWT really did, of course, have budget problems, as is obvious from watching any episode. The final scene ought to stick in mind - it is a minimalist (dadaist?) non-ending. But it is an ending, and in its way a good one. MPFC never gave us an ending like this. It seems almost a shame to note that RWT was not quite dead ...

with DAVID BATTLEY, TERENCE BAYLER, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, HENRY WOOLF

OTHER NOTES: There is an almost infectious Python quality to this episode, what with running the end credits in the middle of the show, all the quick cuts, returning to Religion Today etc. A version of "Singing a Song is Easy" appears on Neil's "Re-cycled Vinyl Blues," and a still different vesion plays on the "Innes Book of Records," as does "L'Amour Perdu." Born in Wanganui, New Zealand, Terence Bayler adds weight to RWT here -- with his corpselike delivery he seems to be trying to outdo Henry Woolf. He appears in the Rutles movie as well as Python's Life of Brian and Terry Gilliam's "Time Bandits." He also gets a credit in Gilliam's "Brazil," but his part is so small we've not been able to find it. Like Woolf he guest-starred on Doctor Who and took an interest in Shakespeare - he played Macduff in the 1971 movie version of "Macbeth." He was also in "The Remains of the Day."

EVEN MORE INTERESTINGLY: According to TV Tome, there exists a longer, unaired version of this episode, with a running time of 33:25! I wonder what was cut out ...

RWT10X: "CHRISTMAS WITH RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION"
EMCEE: ERIC IDLE
GUEST STARRING GEORGE HARRISON
FIRST AIRED: 26 December, 1975
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The worst episode of Rutland Weekend Television, but featuring some wonderful segments- George Harrison's appearances being worth the price of admission alone. "Film Night" is a joy from start to finish, including some great Eric Idle monologuing and a well-done spoof of The Who's Tommy featuring Neil Innes' song "Concrete Jungle Boy." Otherwise the sketches are rather depressing, featuring a very jaded view of Christmas from Eric.

The opening animation is new - I suppose a farmer wouldn't do at Christmas. This one features a couple of silly snowmen on ice skates. One sticks his tongue out as us, and another little one opens up an umbrella, which begins to spew rain, and he sinks into the ice. At this point two chorus girls (Lyn Ashley and Carinthia West) rip through the paper logo and dance as they warble, very much off-key, a few bars of "Christmas Time is Here Today." A drunk Eric, in a moustache, gold jacket and curly blonde wig, looking the very epitome of parodic showbiz evil (as in several Python bits), introduces the show. George Harrison, much drunker than Eric is, stumbles on wanting to play a pirate. David Battley juggles. Neil and Fatso (as the Alberto Rewrite Five) sing "Testing One Two." We learn "How to Ski in Your Own Home," there are some very depressing sketches about Christmas, and the trampy Carinthia West appears as a Christmas present that Eric is a little too glad to get. Neil sings "I Don't Believe in Santa Anymore." David Battley plays an overfed and ill vicar. None of this is funny. George Harrison staggers on again.

"Rutland Film Night." This is more like it. Eric Idle, in splitscreen, plays both a dimly smiling Tony Bilbow and a sniffing, effeminate Philip Jenkinson in a very funny spoof of the BBC's film review show. There's a scratchy old bit of film and jokes about Linda Lovelace in "Sore Throat." "Pommy," a parody of The Who's Tommy, is about a man (Eric) who becomes deaf, dumb and blind while watching a Ken Russell film, and his struggles to get out of the cinema. "He'll tear your ears apart!" Neil sings "Concrete Jungle Boy" as the surreal film plays. A white symbolic disc killed Pommy's parents, and Carinthia West is a Nazi usher showgirl. Pommy is stabbed by a film camera. Eric's Tony Bilbow then interviews oversexed actress Ann Melbourne (Gwen Taylor, a joke on Ann Sydney, or Ann-Margaret), who plays Pommy's mother, or a tin of baked beans. Tony is overinterested in Ann. Philip does a roundup of the year's films. Tony and Philip have a splitscreen duel, featuring excellent comedic timing from both Erics. Then, Gwen wants to sing. Eric stops her. She cries. David Battley introduces a film about Her Majesty's Year, her majesty being the Queen of Rutland (Jeannette Charles).

Eric introduces the moment we've all been waiting for -- Mr. George Harrison Sings! The former Beatle, the genuine article, walks out and begins to play the intro to his hit "My Sweet Lord" (after many earlier false starts, apparently, in which his Georgeness just wanted to be in a sketch as a pirate). There is a very long intro,

and the suspense builds. Then he begins to sing: "Ohhh I'd like to be a pirate! A pirate's life for me! All my friends are pirates, they sail on the BBSea ... I've got a jolly roger, it's a-black and white and vast, so! Get out-a-ya skull and crossbones, I'll run it up your mast ..." And so on. Despite some effort to stop him (he has a crazed look in his eyes throughout) eventually all is ok, and everyone joins in, and the credits roll.

with LYN ASHLEY, CARINTHIA WEST, DAVID BATTLEY, JEANNETTE CHARLES, FATSO, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, DEREK WARE, HENRY WOOLF, and introducing George Harrison as Pirate "Bob." (And Gwen Taylor.)

This episode is about a minute longer than usual. FATSO is not a person but a four-person musical team working with Neil Innes. They are usually seen in loud red plaid jackets. A still photo of them is shown in the Rutles movie (called "The Machismo Brothers"). They appear throughout the second season, hosting one episode (more on this later). That's Billy Bremner [of the Replacements] on guitar, Roger Rettig on guitar and steel, Brian Hodgson on bass and John Halsey [of the Rutles] on drums. Jeannette Charles plays the Queen -- she appeared in that role on the Neil/Eric ep of Saturday Night Live and the Rutles movie, and it seems to be all she does. George Harrison also appears in the Rutles movie and Python's Life of Brian, which he bankrolled. This is the last appearance on the show by Eric's wife Lyn Ashley before their divorce, which soured Eric's feelings about this period of his life enough that it's one of the things keeping Rutland Weekend Television off of DVD. He has joked, "That was in 1975 or 6. I can't even remember what girl I was with then!" That may have been the problem at the time, too. As for the songs, "Testing One Two" appears on the Rutland Weekend Songbook and is just what you'd think it is, and "Concrete Jungle Boy" appears there too. Eric Idle was proud of the Who spoof "Pommy" and aired it for Lorne Michaels for possible showing on Saturday Night Live. Michaels, of course, wanted the Rutles clip (more on that in a moment), and the rest is history.

THE SECOND SERIES (1976)

Seven episodes were produced for the second series of RWT. For this series, RWT moved to a slightly larger studio, but still managed to project the same degree of cheapness. Idle and Innes were moving farther and farther apart in their approaches, with Innes' music serving the story even less than in the previous series.

The quality of Innes' songs here is often much nicer, and he would import many of these tunes to his own series, the "Innes Book of Records," a few years later. This show starred a character named Nick Cabaret, a grinning, evil character inspired by Joel Grey's character in the Bob Fosse film "Cabaret." He first appears in the final episode of RWT (more on this later). The second series had a few problems in that Idle, still the writer of pretty much everything but the songs, didn't have much more to prove. He'd done the first series because he was still interested in that Python tradition and had leftover material bubbling in his brain. This time it took a running start. But the money was there - that old interview-show money, just barely enough to keep Idle jokingly complaining for seven whole episodes. His writing style in the second series can generally be described as "bitchy." It's very funny, and very self-indulgent, because if Eric didn't feel like finishing a scene, he writes it very clearly in the script, placing in "pauses for the writer to think," immensely long poems and rambles of no interest to anyone but him, and running gags that literally keep running for the full half-hour. Henry Woolf and Terence Bayler, always reliable, do not have nearly enough to do in this series, and Woolf at one point apologizes for being away, doing another show. For the second series Neil's music was finally given second billing behind Idle's writing, instead of being put behind the list of actors. This had begun in the Christmas special. Neil's backing band for this season is the fabulous "Fatso" - Billy Bremner, Roger Rettig, Brian Hodgson, and John Halsey. Also the old animated titles (with the farmer) were tossed away in favor of a rotating space cow. Yes, a space cow, with a globe on its sides, spinning about in a neat mirror-ball effect which perfectly parodies the BBC spinning-globe logo (seen often in Python). Indeed, RWT was a station to be reckoned with. As the cow spins, the RWT "chimes" play briefly and the words "RWT -- Rutland Weekend Television" draw themselves in. And then our show begins ...

RWT201: "RUTLAND WEEKEND RUTLES"
ONLY SUCCESSFUL EMCEE: BETTY [GWEN TAYLOR]
FIRST AIRED ON BBC2: 12 November, 1976
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An emcee wannabe [Bunny May -- yes I know that's an odd name for a guy] tries to introduce the show. Failing that, the next fellow,

a Scotsman [Eric] does even worse. Then Neil, then someone's Swedish girlfriend ... the directing team, John and Betty [David Battley and Gwen Taylor] are not amused. Then a scary, nonverbal fellow [Terence Bayler], and they're at their Rutland witend, so to speak. John asks Betty to be the emcee ... she's worried that she's too plain, and she's right, but she goes on anyway and introduces tonight's drama. Eric is a lawyer/burglar who's just lost his case defending a client/burglar/friend/likeable dope/Scotsman/fall guy [Battley]. He's lost on purpose, and is keeping the money. But Bats finally catches on, and justice is done, which is all part of life's rich pattern, something the next emcee [Bayler again!] can't seem to say. Betty has to fill in again.

A documentary follows on a hospital which sees love as an illness and tries to cure it, with the help of Eric, Gwen, and Staff Nurse Sutton. That singing sensation, the Rutles, Dirk [Eric], Nasty [Neil], Stig [John Halsey -- yes I know he's supposed to be Barry], and Barry [Battley], sing "I Must Be in Love." Eric attempts a documentary on the group, but the camera runs away -- it is seen driving to the seaside. "The Entire History of the World: Volume 3" honors the "backroom boys" behind the creation of everything. Angels Robinson [Bunny], Nobby [Neil], Eric and Bats concern themselves with fixing antlered wasps with wheels, smelly fish with legs and pink zebras. Gabriel, the supervisor [Bayler], keeps them at a 6-day deadline as they're expecting another order, and Bats explains woman to an interested Eric. Robinson makes a snake, thus dooming makind and introducing evil into the world.

SuperNeil flies in, discussing in semi-musical form the "Age of Desperation," and the camera is in bed with with Staff Nurse Sutton. RWT's "Classic Season" previews an disturbingly low-budget production of "War and Peace," and the studio camera runs away. Eric and Bats discuss the ravages of inflation over lunch, and flash back to 1747, which is just as bad. A further flashback shows Eric and a Queen smoking something groovy, and Gwen scolds the camera. Then "That's My Mum," and a voiceover [by Eric] closes down RWT. Credits roll over the standard theme song and rotating cow.

REVIEW NOTES: This is a very tedious episode in places. Then again, some of it is spiffy. The RWT version of the Creation is a classic, and one almost wishes a similar bit had been included in Python's The Meaning of Life. The Rutles bit started something great, of course, not to mention turning the camera itself into a character. Also "War and Peace," the court drama and "Age of Desperation" are on the whole pretty good. But the love bit is long, bilious and awful, and "That's My Mum" seems entirely in the wrong place. Mixed views on continuing the budget jokes. An overall decent but sadly patchwork effort from the RWT crew.

with DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GWEN TAYLOR, TERENCE BAYLER, BUNNY MAY, FATSO, CARINTHIA WEST and JOHN HALSEY

OTHER NOTES: Most of the Rutles bit was shown with a new introduction [by Lorne Michaels] when Eric first hosted NBC's Saturday Night (Live). This is available on video and has been much-discussed.

The Rutles bit here is "A Hard Day's Rut, directed by Dick Leicester which is very near Rutland." Dick Lester, of course, directed "A Hard Day's Night," among others (including, oddly, the second and best of the Superman series). Besides that quip the entire monologue was pretty much reprised in the tv movie "The Rutles: All You Need is Cash," financed by Lorne Michaels after positive viewer response to that and another Rutles-on-SNL experiment (Nasty came on and sang "Cheese and Onions"). In the movie Idle is able to catch up to that naughty camera and tell us about the entire legend of the Rutles, who have their own following and thus I shouldn't need to discuss them at length here. I will say that Eric gets the names of Stig and Barry switched here, and in the Rutland Dirty Weekend Book the drummer's name is given as "Kevin!" Besides that things survived pretty much intact into the film, where Rikki Fataar played Stig and Ollie Halsall played the heretofore-unknown fifth Rutle, Leppo.

The Rutles movie is available on Rhino video. There is also the Rutles CD, with music from the film plus two bonus tracks, "Blue Suede Schubert" and "Baby Let Me Be." Dirk and Stig recorded a single, and in 1996 Ron Nasty, Stig O'Hara and Barry Wom reunited to record a new album, the "Rutles Archaeology." The Japanese version had bonus tracks. (So did the Japanese CD version of the Rutland Weekend Songbook, come to think of it -- more on this later.) Bunny May appears in this episode - an oddly-named, odd-looking, likeable kind of fellow. He appears briefly in the Rutles movie, sniffling over "those little girls, one of 'em screamed in me ear ..." "Age of Desperation" is on Neil's "Re-cycled Vinyl Blues."

RWT202: RUTLAND WEEKEND COP SHOW
EMCEES: FATSO, as "THE RAZOR BLADE FOUR"
FIRST AIRED: 19 November, 1976
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"Hello, and welcome to Rutland Weekend, the TV station that is your friend .." A barbershop quartet [played by the musical group Fatso and calling themselves "The Razor Blade Four" - from left to right that's John Halsey, Billy Bremner, Roger Rettig, and Brian Hodgson] introduces the show in rhyme. On "Quite Interesting People," Eric plays Eric Mandible, a Scotsman who worries sheep [Eric still frequently talks about the phrase "to sheep-worry," which he finds amusing. It was a running gag on the set of "Life of Brian"]. He proves himself a fraud, rants about having to worry animals for a living, and goes with his sheep Vera for a drink. Then host Battley talks with Bunny May, a man who collects Madame Butterflies, that is, people who star in the famous opera, until the sketch's momentum wears out. One of the Butterflies [Gwen] starts to sing, and is shut up. Neil, with slicked hair and shades on a rooftop in New York, sings "Topless A-Go-Go." There is a Rutland "EXPOSE," a second-series staple, as Eric desperately tries to get a naughty story out of Kevin Pratt [Battley], who disappoints him by talking about car-swapping. Gwen cries as another Eric complains about the high cost of film. Dressed like Elton John, Neil sings "Godfrey Daniel," as the cost of the show is shown rapidly racking up onscreen. Then there's "Rutland 5-O," a cop show parody (taking its name from "Hawaii 5-O," but then you knew that), an American cop show following the adventures of detectives Muttsky and Jeffovitch

(the name a triple play on cartoon characters Mutt n' Jeff, TV detectives Starsky and Hutch, and stereotype Russians). Mutt [Eric] is giving a suspect [Bunny May] the "treatment" - a head treatment - when Jeff [Bats] breaks in. They act tough and take lots of commercial breaks. A sketch artist [Neil] identifies Gwen's lost pearls. There are puns about the Who and the Hope/Crosby "Road" movies, and everyone winds up in wheelchairs following a particularly violent commercial break. A Durante-ish judge [Bunny again] presides, Mutt cross-examines, Gwen confesses, Jeff confesses, and a voiceover details Mutt's plans to confess as Rutland Weekend closes down. Bunny steals another Madame Butterfly, and Fatso sing the theme song as the credits roll.

with DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GWEN TAYLOR, FATSO and special guest BUNNY MAY

NOTES: The Fatso guys actually appear onscreen! Obviously, "Rutland 5-O" is the main attraction in this episode, and it works pretty well where the rest of the episode just slides. Lot of David Battley in this episode, isn't there? (NOTE: Hint of things to come.) Fatso contains John Halsey, Barry of the Rutles, who appeared from time to time in 1st-season Rutland Weekend. "Godfrey Daniel" was done in the Innes Book of Records episode "Now She's Left You," with a slightly revised tune. The revised version sounds quite better, but it's a nice song in general. "Topless A-Go-Go" appears on Neil's "Re-Cycled Vinyl Blues" album. Gwen Taylor can be heard to say "SHIT!" very loudly at the end of this episode, suggesting that my copy is untouched by the BBC censors.

DELETED SCENE NOTE: I don't know what episode this would have appeared in, but have to put it down somewhere. A very funny taped but unused RWT Neil/Fatso number, "I've Got a Big Blue Suit, or Elvis and the Disagreeable Backing Singers," appeared on "The Innes Book of Records" and a photo of it is in the Dirty Weekend book.

RWT203: RUTLAND WEEKEND SEQUEL
EMCEE: DAVID BATTLEY as "LANCE CORPORAL COLLIER"
FIRST AIRED: 26 November, 1976
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Lance Corporal Collier, played by David Battley, was a minor character in show 103. He returns to host this show, rather badly but amusingly, missing cues and dropping his script. Apparently the intended host cancelled. There is a sketch where Eric, a prisoner, requests to be taken out of jail because he doesn't like it. Terence Bayler delivers a HEAVY MESSAGE, and both break character and leave. Eric parodies TV science-show host James Burke, as he talks at length about a saucer of rancid milk. An older Eric then leads an exploration into the heart of James Burke, led by the unfortunate Terence Bayler, and Battley attempts to bend [TV spoon-bender] Uri Geller. Finally Eric describes the perfect perpetual motion machine, which turns out to be the TV science show. If the show and its host are old and boring enough, the show can stay on the air forever. The show ends, and a janitor [David Battley] enters cleaning up the place. The camera doesn't leave, and they begin to film a documentary on the helpless janitor, who tries to escape. Then a documentary is started on the documentary crews, and another on the crew filming the documentary on the documentary, and one of the documentary folks [Neil Innes] starts to sing "I Give Myself to You," in a 1-person production number through the streets of Britain. "Husband and Wife" features Eric and Carinthia as two evil gameshow hosts who ruin marriages and encourage death by offering glamour and prizes. Then Collier stars in "Collier Rides Again," in a sequel to his famous Army Religions sketch. [Eric's character's hair seems to have grown considerably.] But the performances aren't any good, so they stop it. Collier apologizes and delivers a callout to all his friends back home, and requests Neil singing "Crystal Balls." Neil, in a cowboy hat and with the aid of Fatso, sings "Crystal Balls." A peculiar restaurant requires everyone to wear a sort of Oriental clown suit as part of its dress code. Finally the nasty Midlands waiter, Eric, doesn't let Battley and Taylor in at all, so Battley shoots him. He is chided for his bad habit of killing people. Hundreds die by his hand, and RWT closes down. As the credits roll, Collier mangles his lines, and moves over to a studio monitor, trying to read and mangle the credits too. "And the producer was ... 1976."

Starring DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GWEN TAYLOR and HENRY WOOLF, with FATSO, CARINTHIA WEST and special guest TERENCE BAYLER

OTHER NOTES: It's the David Battley show, starring him, David Battley! Not that Eric and Neil don't do their own solo rambles, but those are in their designated areas of music and monologue. Battley's just taking the show over from the inside. He seems to be actually improvising during the credits sequence. This is probably the best 2nd series episode so far. "I Give Myself to You" appears on the Rutland Weekend Songbook, but was done, and done in bizarre, memorable form, in the Innes Book of Records episode "Don't Make Me Use My Imagination." Fatso appears onscreen again in "Crystal Balls," which was also done well on IBOR.

RWT204: RUTLAND WEEKEND SPRIMPO
EMCESS: EVERYBODY, as "THE RICOCHET BROTHERS"
FIRST AIRED: 2 December, 1976
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This show is hosted by two brothers [Tony and Nigel, or Henry and Neil], the Ricochet Brothers. Every time we return to them they have added a member to their ranks. The first sketch is about an "Ill Health Food Store," where once again the censors clearly aren't watching as Eric rattles off all sorts of nausating delicacies. [Diarrhea Delight, Sickness Spread, strength through weakness!] Reginald [Battley] joins the Ricochet Brothers [who pronounce their name RicKAchit, not RicKOshay]. Then Neil, dressed in his "Protest Song" cap, sings "The Hard to Get," accompanied by a life-size female doll attached to his back. Backup dancers Henry Woolf and David Battley are thusly equipped as well, and dance funnier. Neil hits himself with the mike, and Jerry [Eric] joins the Ricochet Brothers, who aren't hard to get at all. Did I mention they all talk in unison? A very funny visual pun on the Thames TV logo [showing it ratty and decrepit] berings us Scunthorpe Television. A husband [Eric] talks to his wife [Gwen] about renaming making love "sprimpo," just to clear up confusion. Outside, we see his idea has taken hold bigtime, and we hear a song, "Sprimpo, Ooh La La." She then becomes a victim of bad continuity, which eventually shows us Eric's nude ass. [Censors, anywhere?] Clearly this is not a good thing, so she goes to see a film doctor, who helps her with her problem. Unfortunately, she becomes the victim of recursive flashbacks that make her younger and younger. It becomes a race against time to save baby Gwen from disappearing altogether. They fail. She vanishes. Creepy. [Some of this sequence appears to take place entirely on the set and with the actors of another show altogether.] It just goes to show how dangerous bad films can be, Eric notes. May she rest in God's Sprimpo. The Classically Bad American Film series presents "Fiddle-Dee-Dee," a "Gone With the Wind"-like film so widescreen it doesn't fit ANYWHERE, and the characters linger offscreen aways. Then a musical, "24 Hours in Tunbridge Wells," concerning three happy-go-lucky dancing sailors trying to have fun in that hopelessly little rural town. The sequence stars Neil, Eric, and a little boy with the voice of Henry Woolf, and beautifully parodies Stanley Donen films like "On the Town," with Frank Sinatra. Sally [Gwen Taylor] joins the Ricochet Brothers, and "Expose" returns with "The Massed Flashers of Reigate," which may be a myth. Sir Keith Joseph may be a myth. Who knows? The policemen are keeping busy with this one ... doing odd jobs, building hotels and all, and running and operating local shops. The streets are unsafe, but the shops are doing marvelously. They do have trouble with the hippie squatters, though, who keep evicting them. Eric in his writing is babbling like an idiot at this point really. he gets a bad review from Wally Bird, and gets very angry indeed. He delivers, breaking character, a loud and vehement rant about what stupid hypocrites critics are anyway. Then that rant gets a good review, two good reviews in fact, and Eric is in a good mood again, so he takes it all back. The cast gets angry at him for not having the balls to go through with it, and everyone breaks character and harasses Eric, in a wonderful moment. Woolf is angry at always having to be the little guy, and Jewish at that. It hurts being the only intellectual on the show, you know! And they've replaced him with a kid. Neil's sick and tired of waiting for the little song number bits. I mean, Henry's a writer! He's had plays on! And David used to be an actor, once. Neil could write songs, Gwen could act, they don't need Eric! They take down the RWT sign and replace it with their own names [BIW-TV] as Eric looks annoyed, and the credits roll.

with DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GILLIAN GREGORY, SAMANTHA KESTON, ROBIN MILLER, GILLIAN RHIND, GWEN TAYLOR and HENRY WOOLF. Guest choreographer GILLIAN GREGORY.

NOTES: This episode contains some of RWT's finest moments. Really. This is my favorite episode of RWT. "Tunbridge Wells," "Sprimpo," "The Hard to Get," and especially the cast revolt at the end are worth watching again. Gillian Gregory, who choreographed "24 Hours in Tunbridge Wells," also choreographed Neil's "Innes Book of Records" TV series, and Pink Floyd's film "The Wall." Strangely, this 1976 episode carries a copyright date of 1975.

RWT205: RUTLAND WEEKEND INSURANCE, WITH TONY BILBOW
EMCEE: TONY BILBOW as "TONY BILBOW"
FIRST AIRED: 6 December, 1976
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Another show 103 reference: Tony Bilbow had the "Last Word" after that ep. He hosts this entire episode. Well, he tries to anyway -- the opening has lots of starts and stops. Apparently producer Ian Keill is trying to turn Mr. Bilbow into RWT's first breakout superstar. It is the "Tony Bilbow Theatre," featuring Tony Bilbow as Michael Hall in "The Life and LEgend of Michael Hall." We find out that to play this simple insurance man, he has taken an extreme "method" turn, working as an actual insurance man for several years, marrying a local girl, commuuting to work while learning how to run an entire insurance company. Pity it's just a superficial part, so the training was completely unnecessary. He sells everyone around him insurance. In the real play, Battley, as a flagman, combats flagging flag sales by fiendishly flogging his largest flags. ["Flog" is Ericspeak for "try to sell, obnoxiously." Like Bilbow and insurance.] Bilbow tries to get rid of the huge flag he's bought, and it ends up in the hands of an unfortunate policeman. Bilbow ducks into a Sex Problem shop to hide, and asks about the antique furniture, before deciding to buy a sex problem. He is given a medieval suit of armor by fruity Francis of the CIA ... er CID [Battley]. Getting his first and second screen kisses, he goes out with significant other Glenda [Gwen Taylor] and persistent gawker and non-voyeur David Battley to the park to listen to the "Song O' The Insurance Men." Then up in the trees, a whole lot of chartered accountants sing an "Accountancy Shanty." Neil, as a singing gynaecologist, sings "I Don't Want to Fall in Love Again," a rambling song, and Neil just keeps walking through the studio, as Bilbow fades out of the plot and sells insurance to the Radio Times girl [Gwen]. Neil's singing gets sillier and sillier, and he drags himself down to the floor. He enters the local insurance agency. he isn't gay. He becomes involved in a story of international [German] intrigue. As the plot heats up, a lazy writer going by the name of ERIC IDLE takes a "Writing Pause," because he can't think up the next scene. This pause takes a full 32 SECONDS!! Then the plot continues. Woolf plays a Tunisian transvestite, dancing for a crowd as "Vera Sharif" ... he's good you know ... and Neil still isn't gay. [Isn't this episode a bit like Python's "The Cycling Tour" really? Not intentionally or in specifics, but you know what I mean, don't you? Am I crazy? I don't really know anymore. Writing these episode summaries has begun to fry my brain really. Oh well]. Through the Germany door, he meets a Cockney Dietrich, Gwen Taylor. Carinthia clings, and the pianoman turns out to be ... Tony Bilbow! Tony, Carinthia and Gwen act suspicious and smother him in insurance. He smiles and is freeze-framed as the final moral ... beware unscrupulous insurance men ... is delivered, and the credits roll. Stock footage of Vietnam, Nixon & Kissinger, odl war movies and a falling building plays with dubbed voices talking about insurance, on behalf of the Anti-Insurance League. Take 139 of the original introduction rolls, and Bilbow gets it right, but starts trying to sell insurance, and Woolf and a crewman carry him off ...

Underwritten by Lloyds of London and the Norwich Union, Super-starred TONY BILBOW, starred DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, GWEN TAYLOR, HENRY WOOLF, FATSO, CARINTHIA WEST, and the Man from the Prudential scarred NEIL INNES (Music & Insurance)

OTHER NOTES: "Discreet" is misspelled "Disceet" on the Sex Problem Van. I hope you got the CIA/CID joke. See, the CID is British intelligence, and the CIA is ... but then I've already said too much. Best not blow my cover. There is a moment of bad focus inbetween the "Insurance" and "Accountancy" tunes. The "Accountancy Shanties" bit should not be confused with the song Eric wrote for Python's "The Meaning of Life" ... It's less rousing (though there are some similarities). "I Don't Want to Fall in Love Again" was sung by the Lone Ranger on IBOR, but Neil left out the line about the kangaroos. Pity. During this song you get to see the exact size of the bigger-but-still-small RWT2 soundstage, which cracks me up. Neil's character in the Travel Agency bit is given the "French" name "Andre Jacquemin," which is the name of a composer who worked with Eric on many Monty Python projects. The reason Tony Bilbow is never directly shown in the final scene in Germany [playing the piano] is apaprently because he had by that point shaved his moustache and would not wear a false one, as can be seen in all the "introduction" bits. At least I assume the moustache seen on film is real. Does Tony's voice remind anyone else of Simon Jones from "Meaning of Life" and "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy?" He's very funny here somehow. For an episode with a plot, this one's pretty danged good.

RWT206: RUTLAND WEEKEND IS INNOCENT
EMCEE: HENRY WOOLF as "HENRY WOOLF"
FIRST AIRED: 16 December, 1976
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Woolf begins the show by apologizing for the fact that he hasn't been in this series much, but has been off doing another show for the BBC. As he's rambling, the sketch begins without him. Eric plays a Dennis Moore-style highwayman, encountered by Gwen and David as they're driving. Their chauffeur [Terence Bayler] is a bit too happy to sacrifice himself for them. The highwayman turns out to be the Masked Accountant, and only the Lone Accountant [Eric too], and his assistant, Mr. Tonto [Neil], can stop him. But they've got office work to do. They perform some very ineffective crimefighting, etc. etc. Judge Jeffries etc. etc. Neil sings "Drama on a Saturday Night," accompanied by a bluescreen showing random stock footage, some featuring shots of creepy big-lipped RWT showgirl Carinthia West. One of them is a nude shot. Goddamnit, aren't the censors watching at all? Anyway, then there's a safari park where the animals are in the cars driving, and a safari car park, blah blah blah. A wife-swapping sketch runs, and the cast chides the script for sexism, and Eric proves his power as a writer by zapping them into different costumes and into oblivion, then recites a poem of such interminable length the audience is sure to start screaming. The topic is a wife-swapping party. Dressed as the host in a large bowtie whose part was cut entirely from the first episode of RWT [except in the shortened version as aired by UK Arena, see entry under episode 101] and talking like him too, Woolf closes down the show. Weird. Coming soon on RWT -- "Nixon is Innocent," a game show where contestants try to think of major crimes that former president Richard Nixon is not guilty of committing.

Starring DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GWEN TAYLOR and HENRY WOOLF, with FATSO, MAGGIE HENDERSON, and special guest TERENCE BAYLER

OTHER NOTES: There are many nice bits in this episode, including Terence Bayler's small role, but Eric's self-reflective, lazy writing and seizing of all the major roles in the show is so detrimental to the show as to achieve absurdity. No good Neil songs either. "Drama on a Saturday Night" was sung on the IBOR ep "Don't Make Me Use My Imagination," featuring Michael Palin and the same nude shot but omitting Carinthia West. Eric's last line, "No one leaves this show empty-handed, so we're going to cut off your hands," was repeated at Python live shows like the "Hollywood Bowl" film.

RWT207: RUTLAND WEEKEND SHOWTIME!
EMCEE: TERENCE BAYLER
FIRST AIRED: 24 December, 1976
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At a cast meeting, David apologizes for how men have repressed women for 2000 years, and the others follow suit. It is then discovered that the script this week has been declared entirely too naughty and most of it will be cut. [Note that Eric is the only one not using his real name, as "Gavin."] Gavin's notes are filled with double entendres. They decide to try and put on a wholesome bloody show. "Showtime" is introduced by Terence Bayler, who quite happily shows us a variety of musical acts. The first is Eric [as Rob McQueen], who reads a solemn poem, "The Smoke of Autumn Bonfires," which turns into a loud, naughty rock song at the end, and he parties, attempting to remove his clothes. The second act, "Janitor's Kids," is very old-fashioned, featuring Neil and Gwen Taylor as blacktoothed ragamuffins who tap-dance on carpet. The point of this segment is unknown to me. In "Soap Opera," the wife of Peter [Battley] announces the good news: she's due to have another affair. Eric announces the plotline of a soap opera, "Autocue," accompanied by still photos. In "The David Frost Show Again," David Battley as Frost has put the entire studio to sleep. In "Return of the Pink Panzer," we meet that naughty Nazi in his bright pink uniform [Terence Bayler, with a tank. His effeminate delivery of "Heil Hitler" is priceless]. Battley then deals with a silly AA man [Eric], whose "membership card" punchline has unfortunately been cut. Introduced by Bayler, Eric [as Kevin Ellis] walks out in an Australian "Bruce" getup and sings "Rover the Drover," an Australian love song about the loss of a favorite cow. This is cut short by stagehands. Then Terence Bayler talks about Liza Minelli and "Cabaret," making a bad Nazi joke and tripping as he leaves, and we are in the very seediest part of Germany. Everything is lit dark, and there is smoke and decadence and grimy sex everywhere. In the midst of this, Nick Cabaret [Neil Innes], resembling Joel Grey, sings "The Slaves of Freedom." The lighting and direction here are perfect. Some angels go on strike wearing costumes and names from episode 201. Eric winds up playing too many of these at the end. [Insert scream here] Neil's homeless angels mumbles a rhyme. Eric as the quiet William Plastic-Bidet has his name laughed at, until Battley as the postman gets his comeuppance, and a come-on from Carinthia, whose lines have to all be cut. "Sportsbore" runs the Most Boring Man in the World Competition and YOU KNOW ERIC WOULD WIN FOR THE ENDINGS OF THESE LAST TWO EPISODES, and indeed he plays most every boring role. Eric seems to realize the series is all over, and stumbles. "Well, til then ... pfft ... just 'til then really." Roll credits. The cast, dressed oddly, sings a short song by Neil, "It's Hard to Make It When You're Straight."

Starring DAVID BATTLEY, ERIC IDLE, NEIL INNES, GWEN TAYLOR, TERENCE BAYLER, BUNNY MAY, FATSO and CARINTHIA WEST

This is the final episode of RWT. As Eric puts it, "Well, I'm afraid that program has been taken off. In this space next week, there will be a gap." Indeed there will. We thank him for RWT.

OTHER NOTES: Although Eric clearly peaked in his self-indulgence last episode, he is still keeping the cast apart rather than letting them work together. Terence Bayler makes the best impression in his solo bits. Eric's songs "Autumn Bonfires" and "Rover the Drover" are pretty funny. He sang "Rover the Drover" on his first Saturday Night Live, and put it in the "Dirty Weekend Book," so he must be proud of it. This episode begins with a nice clean structure which is greatly let down in its weaker spots. There are still a lot of great little gags, with the censorship and pink Nazis and "Slaves of Freedom," which is pure Neil. Sadly, so is the ragamuffin thing. Bleah. David Frost and Australians were frequently mocked in Eric's Python sketches. "(We are) The Slaves of Freedom" was performed on IBOR, in a strip club. It contains the classic line "Freedom is the handle on the bucket of your soul, the image of illusion in the goldfish of your bowl, the shampoo of perfection in the bathroom of your dreams, freedom is the universe and everything it seems, oh yes, we are the slaves of freedom."

But wait! There's more! More or less.

ADDENDUM: The Clipshow

RWT20X: "THE BEST OF RWT"
AKA "CHRISTMAS WITH RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION (AGAIN)"
FIRST AIRDATE: December 27, 1993
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This is a hastily-assembled collection of old RWT footage into a half hour show, introduced by Vic Mortimer and Bob Reeves and aired in 1993. Presumably Vic and Bob were fans of the show and wanted a compilation aired on TV again. The credits are recycled (from the 1975 Christmas show), and are incorrect (Bunny May and Terence Bayler aren't credited, though they appear).

They could definitely have picked better clips, especially songwise. None of Innes' better songs are here, though a few good Idle sketches are included, out of context.

"Christmas with RWT" - snowmen/chorus girls (show 10X)
Terence Bayler host, John + Betty (show 201)
Henry Woolf host - "Gardening Time" intro (show 102)
"Incident at Bromsgrove"/Nelson & Hardy (show 106)
Woolf - "So much for Biggles!" (show 102)
The Boss/Secretary/Sherry/Purchasing People (show 103)
Barbershop quartet [Fatso] introduce Neil (show 202)
I'm the Urban Spaceman (show 105)
Stan Fitch the All-Dead Singer (show 104)
Woolf - "International Rabbit Show" (show 102)
"Man Alive" (show 106)
Rutland 5-O [abridged version] (show 202)
George Harrison Sings!/Credits (show 10X)
Woolf - Handover to ATV (show 102)

"THE RUTLAND WEEKEND SONGBOOK"
(soundtrack album)
BBC Records REB 233/Passport Records PPSD-98018
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The cover of this little gem shows a large photo of Eric with half-a-beard, and Neil, similarly dressed, smaller and standing outside, pointing at the photo of Eric. It is marked "Rutland Times" in large letters, and is thus often known as such, but smaller letters mark it as "The Rutland Weekend Songbook." The track listings are given as Radio Times-style TV listings of programs on Rutland Weekend. It consists mostly of rerecordings of songs that appeared on RWT episodes (largely from the first season), along with some Eric Idle babblings to link it together. Some (all?) of these songs only made sense on the episodes they came from and are presented with much less context here, making some of this a losing proposition. Still, a fine album, and the original liner notes filled in the gaps. It was released on LP in Britain and on CD in Japan. The CD contained bonus tracks, so the album versions of "I Must Be in Love" and "Protest Song" have been released, in essence, twice. The differences are the removal of the (loud!) female crowd screamings from "I Must Be in Love" and the "bleep" from "Protest Song" (which covered over the words "fucking good time," sung as "fantastic time" in the episode). Here is the track listing, with the episodes that inspired them:

L'Amour Perdu, Gibberish [101], Frontloader [105], Say Sorry Again [102], I Must Be in Love [201], Twenty-Four Hours in Tunbridge Wells [204], The Fabulous Bingo Brothers [104], Concrete Jungle Boy [10X], The Children of Rock and Roll [103], Stoop Solo [101], Song o' the Insurance Men [205], Closedown, Testing One Two/I Give Myself to You [10X/203], Communist Cooking/Johnny Cash [102/106], Whistletest - Protest Song [104], Accountancy Shanty [205], Football/Boring [103], Good Afternoon from the Good Evening - L'Amour Perdu Cha Cha Cha [102], The Hard to Get [204], The Song o' the Continuity Announcers [106]

"L'Amour Perdu" is the theme song, instrumental. This version of Gibberish fails, because Eric plays both parts - three parts, actually. He reads the credits too. Frontloader seems to be the same performance from show 105. Say Sorry Again is played straight here, no Groucho Marxism. I Must Be in Love features a quick Rutles intro by Eric, and is in the original version drowned out almost entirely by girls screaming. The Bingo Brothers may be the same performance, but with very different accompaniment. Stoop Solo is almost the same, but with some additional nonsense - he coughs at the end. Closedown is an Eric ramble about annoying the neighbors. Communist Cooking is just the song, not the sketch, and features Neil (the original didn't). Johnny Cash is also presented without explanation. The Protest Song is better than the one heard on the show. Football isn't. The first bit of Eric rambling in "Come Dancing," just before the song, is used as "L'Amour Perdu Cha Cha Cha," because as Eric rambles (with a slight French accent, here) Neil is playing a long "cha-cha" variant on the theme in the background. The Continuity Announcers closedown is slightly shortened.

"THE RUTLAND DIRTY WEEKEND BOOK"
Eyre Methuen, 1976
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Eric Idle put a lot of work into the RWT book, a LOT of work. There were even contributions from Python friends, and "Fear and Loathing" cartoonist Ralph Steadman. Unlike RWT itself, the book was given free leave to go wherever a book budget might take it. But it didn't appear on many store shelves, because naughty Eric designed the book cover as pornography. Heh heh. Do pick it up, if you have any chance at all.

The Vatican Sex Manual, A History of Rutland Weekend Television, RWT Duty Log, RTV Times, Who's Who in Rutland, Who's Having Who in Television, Accountancy and Sex (by Michael Palin), Rutland Stone, The Wonderful World of Sex, Rutland University Press Publications

RWT LIVES !!

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