Return to the sketches indexAs featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 21
Man: Good morning.
Registrar: Good morning.
Man: Are you the registrar?
Registrar: I have that function.
Man: I was here on Saturday, getting married to a blond girl, and I'd like to change please. I'd like to have this one instead please.
Registrar: What do you mean?
Man: Er, well, the other one wasn't any good, so I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket. (gives him the marriage licence.)
Registrar: Ah, oh, no. That was when you were married.
Man: Er, yes. That was when I was married to the wrong one. I didn't like the colour. This is the one I want to had;e, so if you could just change the forms round I can take this one back with me now.
Registrar: I can't do that.
Man: Look, make it simpler, I'll pay again.
Registrar: No, you can't do that.
Man: Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blab, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.
Registrar: I'm sorry sir, but we're not allowed to change.
Man: You can at Harrods.
Registrar: You can't.
Man: You can. I changed my record player and there wasn't a grumble.
Registrar: It's different.
Man: And I changed my pet snake, and I changed my Robin Day tie.
Registrar: Well, you can't change a bloody wife!
Man: Oh, all right! Well, can I borrow one for the weekend.
Registrar: No!
Man: Oh, blimey, I only wanted a jolly good...
(A whistle blows. A referee runs on, takes his book out and proceeds to take the name of the man in the registry office, amidst protests.)
Referee: All right, break it up. What's your number, then? All right. Name?
Man: Cook.
(Cut to the two in the next sketch waiting. Cut back to referee, who finishes booking the man and blows his whistle. The show continues... )
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